Life, Rants

OPINION: A Woman’s Standpoint

Actually, sometimes I think back, I realised I had been shortchanged all the while. Thus with a whole new level, I want to set a good example that women should never lower their expectations for someone who’s not their par.

Emphasizing this as a marriage partner because both will need to propel together as one. I always asked myself — if the girl is my daughter, what would I say?

Yes, we should not be materialistic but somehow basic needs will need to be fulfilled. Otherwise, it’s hard to move on. Similar if my daughter divorced in the near future. Even with kids, the more one should not even lower the expectations. Otherwise it’s sending the wrong signals to defuse confidence in the kids.

As women are more fortunate now to be able to get a better education, having financial stability and all, having a partner or not, made no difference however being in a relationship, the other party would need more from us as we would be the only one who is capable to give birth to their offsprings or mental/ physical support.

Wow, I just suddenly feel that I had a strong feminist POV towards things in life but well nothing will change the fact as no one knew how tough I had walked on this path to reach this far. And also this post is dedicated to all women whos roughing out their paths now. XOXO

Similarly, I kept reminding myself.

11.11 is Single’s Day.

No 1-carat ring, say “No” to marriage. Stay single then. LOL

Life, Rants, Reflections, Work

Social Experiment

The past week had been challenging, so is the trade markets. Oil prices, commodities, even the protest in Hongkong had created an impactful shift across all markets and including myself.

HA. Because currently, I’m in a role where I faced more rejections than anything else so I decide to YOLO once and went for a social experiment on how people reacted to me and whether anyone will cast judgment without knowing me as a person but just by my outlooks especially with my…

  • First Tattoo. Yes, I know. “Imprints” get judge more often.
  • Followed by, the change of my hair color, not to a monotone but a unicorn tone. As this totally fits into my bill of fickle-mindedness because right after I dyed it at my trusted salon, J2 Hair Salon, I just realised that whichever color I feel like showcasing more, all I need was to change my hair parting in accordance.

 

Left (2016)/ Right (NOW)

  • Attitude. Adopted a heck care attitude because I just want to find out if gracious people tend to be bullied. And I wondered if I ever get beaten up if I keep on tsk-ing people (Check out how to tsk people correctly with strong support from CPF. Just joking.)

To be honest, I’m quite fearful that my parents/ colleagues/ bosses cannot accept the change as I did not inform them in advance/ prior to this.

Random note; the girls love it. They love anything unicorn. HAHA.

So during the weekends, when I bought the girls out, everyone seems to give a disapproving look on the streets and I even overheard a comment,

“See, girl. You must study hard if not next time, you will need to be food delivery rider and bring kids along for work.”

O-M-G. I carried a Grabfood paperbag with my kiddos waterbottles in it doesn’t meant I worked for them leh. I just cannot find a bag to contain their items when I’m rushing out. AND SOMEMORE, I graduated with a degree and alot of self-improvement certificates that helped me excel in my career. -_-

Best part, my mum did not even notice it when I was working around with my stuff when I’m back at my maiden home, for hours. Perhaps, tying up my hair helps.

Actually, the real challenge in me is actually how my bosses, colleagues, business partners whom I will meet, will react to my new looks.

So I reported for work on Monday. Here’re the results:

  • My boss did not comment but I feel he’s ok with this. [Boss ah, let me know if you are not ok hor?] Updated as of 16 Sept, my direct supervisor told me the CE disapprove of the colors. LOL so I dyed back on 17 Sept.
  • Colleagues were shocked and my Teamies gave me a look of affirmation then disapproval.
  • The guys who’ve worked at a different level and whom I’ve always spoken to in the lift saw me during lunch and thought I was “another” person. They couldn’t even recognize me.
  • My friends saw my social media postings, gave me thumbs up instead of thumbs down.

Ok lah, to be honest, I’m not sure if they would have discussed this behind my back though but I couldn’t care less. :]


And the real deal came when I am running late for a meeting at Ayer Rajah. I was changing my route to cross over from East-West line to the Circle line at Buona Vista MRT and I heard a man standing in the middle of the pavements asking into the thin air if anyone can direct him to the East-West line (towards Jurong direction). I then realized he seems to have a partial visual impairment. Many of the people of different diversity and dress codes, walked past him without helping him.

Despite telling myself — to adopt a heck care attitude mentioned earlier, it just couldn’t get through me. Yes, I might be late if I lend a helping hand but well, that few minutes might matter more to him than to me. Imagine, he lost his footings and…

So I walked up and approached him and directed him to the right direction. Realising that the lift is a long walk from where he is, I asked him if it’s ok for me to lead him up to the platforms via escalator. He was apologizing that he might delayed my time and etc. I told him I’m free and asked him to hold onto my elbow.

Thank god for my stint in PA that exposed me to various techniques to deal from the physically challenged peeps.

In any case; to guide a blind/ partially sighted person; one would need to follow these steps (Courtesy from RNIB and Webeye):

  1. Walk up, introduce yourself and speak to the person whom you are going to guide him.
  2. Offer the person your services and ask him/ her on how would they prefer to be guided.
  3. The person being guided should lightly grasp the guide’s arm, thumb out, just above their elbow. Right elbow of the guide will be grasped by the left hand of the person being guided, and vice versa. The left elbow of the guide will be grasped by the right hand of the person being guided. For children, have them grasp your wrist or hold your hand. When an individual acts as a human guide, they should walk a half step ahead of the person they are guiding.
  4. Tell them about every steps/ curbs/ stairs as you approach them. Tell them to step “up” or “down”.
  5. Mention any potential hazards/ narrow corridors that lie ahead and say where they are.
  6. If you are guiding someone into a seat, place their hand on the back of the seat before they sit down, so they can orientate themselves.
  7. Don’t walk away without saying you are leaving.

So that minute of help resulted in me knowing that he had his vision partially lost due to genetics. Despite the fact, he’s still making efforts to look for jobs and being mobile to stay positive.

When we parted at the platform, I was asking the few of the people standing on the platforms to look out for him and directed him to the right station (and yes, I got a few disapproving looks from some onlookers due to my tattoo and hair while I help the guy). Thank god for a couple of kind souls and he wished me well in my life.

Conversations like this pulled me up from all the rejections I had to face during my course of work (as they are downright demotivating) and I felt even more determined to help the community via Piggyback.


And thus I instill a habit for myself and the girls while decluttering those that I do not need. I will either post via Blessing for Low Incomes-Sg, Yishun Blessing group and my own BTO closed Facebook group to ask if anyone closeby would need the things that I no longer need.

To my surprise, a lot of my so-called stuff became prized processions of their new owners.

And this boils down to…

“When you judge others. You do not define them. You define yourself. No one had ever walk the same path as you. Experiences made current choices. Future choices are based on your aptitude towards life and attitude on how you approach it.”

Like what my mum always say, “When you are pointing 1 finger at others, you are pointing 4 at yourself.”

Brace on people and do lending a helping hand when possible because you’ll never know when you will need others to lend you theirs.

Life, Rants, Reflections, Work

5 Great Reasons to Move Out from the “Comfort Zone”​.

Was chancing upon this article that I shared via my LinkedIn, 2.5 years back and thus thought that I shall repost this as a reminder. X


The economy is bleak with a gloomy outlook shadowing the small red dot… This doesn’t stop me from finding an opportunity out there, out and away from my so-called “comfort zone”.

To be frank, I am comfortable with the work that I am doing, for the true fact that I had been in the company for 6 years, doing the same routine and the lifestyle of having to do shift works had been accustomed to. The colleagues are like my family and the workplace is just like a second home furthermore, I am in the Public Service, it would be a real stable job and importantly, stable amidst the uncertain economy thus many ask me the million-dollar question…

WHY DO YOU WANT TO MOVE OUT FROM THE COMFORT ZONE?

I took 2 months to decide on my new career path and I made it based on a few reasons and thought, perhaps it’s good to share in order to help those in a similar situation when they are deciding on the switch.

1) BROADEN YOUR PERSPECTIVE

I guess many of us always hear from the bosses that we need to inject new ideas to propel forward however this could be a double-edged sword to an extent. For organizations exclude the Government servants, profits are the main key to drive the company forward. Staying in the comfort zone would not broaden your perspective as everyone had been instilled the mindset that certain things need to be done only this way. It’s a repeated formula and a successful one but nowadays people are educated with the given technology, one will always need to break the norm and to do so, one needs to go out to see what is out of that comfort circle. It’s like the mundane education that we promote from Grade to Grade.

Just imagine this that we do not propel forward if we stay put in Grade 1, forever. Or do we still remember that we took on Science at Grade 3 and it was a subject that was not taught in Grade 1 and 2 and everyone was just excited to know about this new subject and realized the fact that there is THIS SUBJECT and the anticipation to know more awaits?

Travelling does has the same effect. 🙂

 

2) TO LEARN NEW THINGS/ KNOW NEW PEOPLE.

With that perspective being different, one would be anticipating a new life ahead in a strange environment, with an open mind. It’s important to throw away the mindset from the previous job to stick to the norm as the successful formula may differ from the job. Having an open mind, one would be able to learn new things and forged new friendships. One should never stop learning and learning at times will give us surprises in Life and perhaps unearthed our hidden talent. Think about this… Ever thought that in life you might not even know how to fry an egg? But again, all thanks to cookbooks, MasterChef shows and tons of practice, you manage to fry not just an egg, but perhaps, steam an egg, make an omelette and etc… How does one do that? Learn and practice and somehow it repeats. No one knows how to do that job in the first place, everyone started from somewhere and learn along the way, from people and from many other sources.

3) CAREER PROGRESSION/ MAKE YOURSELF MARKETABLE

Always move for career progression if your current place is stagnant. Please do not get me wrong, I am not recommending job-hopping. Someone should stay at least 3 years to learn almost ALL the ropes within the Organisation. Compare this. Candidate A with 10 years in the same company but with/ without steady progression but on another hand, Candidate B with 10 years in 2 companies with the fact that it’s always a career progression path (Executive >>> Manager). Employers will look at both and perhaps, Candidate B pose more exposure which meant, they are open to changes (it’s a hard truth that it’s evitable in current world) and perhaps had more experience in dealing with sticky situations. Employers want to employ talents to solve their problems BUT not to create more problems or left the problems unsolved. Getting out of comfort zone proved your willingness to take up risks and challenges, this gonna be a competitive advantage from the peers who followed the norm. Successful people always do not follow the norm. Quote Steve Jobs.

4) YOU WON’T FEEL THAT PINCH – MONETARY CONTENTMENT

Especially you are doing a total career switch of industry. As you climbed higher and normally the more years you spend in the organization, you command more pay but if you are going to do that switch, the other industry might not meet your current pay package and you might suffer a big gap. The sooner you start to figure out what you want, the lesser pinch you will feel in terms of monetary contentment. And in reality, we need that money to finance whatever we have and to keep us going.

 

5) THE #YOLO THEORY

#YOLO. There will never be a good time to move out from comfort zone and when the right opportunity come by, why not especially when one had no commitments – kids and one is still young especially. The younger generations will need to explore out from their comfort zone because this is an advantage. If the opportunity came and it wasn’t the right one, the young ones can restart the career again as they had plenty of time to catch up. On a bonus note, if the opportunity tends to be a passion/ hobby. 🙂 Importantly, no regrets till the very last breath. I heard feedback from my current colleagues whom some had stayed in the job for more than 30 years and regretted not stepping out to see the world.

AND A BONUS POINTER,

If you wake up in the morning and dreads going to work. It’s time for a change. Research says that the more motivated you are towards your work, it drives a higher efficiency in the job. Also, some of you might just want to get away from negative energy/ toxic people.

Importantly, we must always enjoy what we are doing and STAY HUMBLE.

 

Good Luck.

SPECIAL SHOUT OUT:

To my colleagues (Jolene, Radzi, Andrew, July, Esther, Ervin, Andy, Michael, Qinghui, Mdm Lau, Angela, Noraini, Ris and etc…) who enriched, endured and endeared my 6 years stay in People’s Association who made me feel like home and treated me as a family member. I will miss you all.

To my superiors, family members and close friends who are supportive of my move. I will be grateful as it gives me a push to leap forward.

I would like to thank the superiors (ex-superiors too) and the current organization for all the opportunities given.

To all the friends who I had made during these 6 years, thank you because I am glad to have known you all and it’s you who made Who-I-Am today.

Cheers.

Life, Parenthood, Rants

Inner Thoughts about STEM

STEM is in trend but not all embraced the “orthodox” method of learning.

Science, Technology, Engineering & Math (STEM) classes have been widely introduced in U.S and the Western Countries where kids as young as 5 years old learned about the basic concept of STEM. However I feel that Asian parents still placed a stronger focus on the traditional academics and neglected the need for STEM despite the rising trends for Technologies and the worldwide storage for STEM talents especially in the areas of tech.

I chanced upon the article that in Singapore, the Government is adopting a proactive approach to introduce basic coding classes for the Upper Primary from Year 2020 as part of the education curriculum. It used to be optional but now compulsory. I guessed, the need to train the future industry talents to curb the manpower and talent shortage is indeed a pressing issue.

And I’m definitely a fan of anything that’s NOT academic. Learning should be fun especially when one is younger. One can afford to make more (and perhaps more expensive) mistakes and instead of being heavily pressured to chase the papers.

I kind of reminisced the days where I would figure how to “crash” my mum’s kitchen by cooking real food and having fun with my friends spending real time together instead of now, my kids favoured over Youtube “Toys Reviews”, check out what the rest are up to via Youtube or social media. Kids being kids, we should all learn by doing not just by seeing and etc.

Hopefully as the generations evolved, Governments will take a stronger approach in granting a more holistic education and it’s a good start now as I see more and more talents in the “cold” industry such as Arts, Music and Theatre Plays.

Thus I ponder, will parents be keen to explore workshops with kids at their early fundamentals years? Leave me a comment so that’s I’ll know.