Life, Rants

Sometimes

Sometimes we looked back and realized how time flies…

There is a period where we religiously RSVP to (1) 21st birthday parties

then evolved to (2) tons of weddings where it slowly becomes (3) house warmings with the beautiful decors. THEN happiness overshadows with (4) babies full month celebrations followed by a leveled-up of (5) kids birthday parties.

and we reach a point where we can locate hospital wards with ease due to many (6) hospital visits but soon you realized at times, old friends will gather at (7) funerals to reminisce the past.

This is life. We need to go through life however experiences help us grow through life at the end of the day.

Reach a point that people (like myself) can easily sob because of past experiences one can relate.

Cherish your love ones before its too late.

X

Life, Rants, Reflections, Work

Social Experiment

The past week had been challenging, so is the trade markets. Oil prices, commodities, even the protest in Hongkong had created an impactful shift across all markets and including myself.

HA. Because currently, I’m in a role where I faced more rejections than anything else so I decide to YOLO once and went for a social experiment on how people reacted to me and whether anyone will cast judgment without knowing me as a person but just by my outlooks especially with my…

  • First Tattoo. Yes, I know. “Imprints” get judge more often.
  • Followed by, the change of my hair color, not to a monotone but a unicorn tone. As this totally fits into my bill of fickle-mindedness because right after I dyed it at my trusted salon, J2 Hair Salon, I just realised that whichever color I feel like showcasing more, all I need was to change my hair parting in accordance.

 

Left (2016)/ Right (NOW)

  • Attitude. Adopted a heck care attitude because I just want to find out if gracious people tend to be bullied. And I wondered if I ever get beaten up if I keep on tsk-ing people (Check out how to tsk people correctly with strong support from CPF. Just joking.)

To be honest, I’m quite fearful that my parents/ colleagues/ bosses cannot accept the change as I did not inform them in advance/ prior to this.

Random note; the girls love it. They love anything unicorn. HAHA.

So during the weekends, when I bought the girls out, everyone seems to give a disapproving look on the streets and I even overheard a comment,

“See, girl. You must study hard if not next time, you will need to be food delivery rider and bring kids along for work.”

O-M-G. I carried a Grabfood paperbag with my kiddos waterbottles in it doesn’t meant I worked for them leh. I just cannot find a bag to contain their items when I’m rushing out. AND SOMEMORE, I graduated with a degree and alot of self-improvement certificates that helped me excel in my career. -_-

Best part, my mum did not even notice it when I was working around with my stuff when I’m back at my maiden home, for hours. Perhaps, tying up my hair helps.

Actually, the real challenge in me is actually how my bosses, colleagues, business partners whom I will meet, will react to my new looks.

So I reported for work on Monday. Here’re the results:

  • My boss did not comment but I feel he’s ok with this. [Boss ah, let me know if you are not ok hor?] Updated as of 16 Sept, my direct supervisor told me the CE disapprove of the colors. LOL so I dyed back on 17 Sept.
  • Colleagues were shocked and my Teamies gave me a look of affirmation then disapproval.
  • The guys who’ve worked at a different level and whom I’ve always spoken to in the lift saw me during lunch and thought I was “another” person. They couldn’t even recognize me.
  • My friends saw my social media postings, gave me thumbs up instead of thumbs down.

Ok lah, to be honest, I’m not sure if they would have discussed this behind my back though but I couldn’t care less. :]


And the real deal came when I am running late for a meeting at Ayer Rajah. I was changing my route to cross over from East-West line to the Circle line at Buona Vista MRT and I heard a man standing in the middle of the pavements asking into the thin air if anyone can direct him to the East-West line (towards Jurong direction). I then realized he seems to have a partial visual impairment. Many of the people of different diversity and dress codes, walked past him without helping him.

Despite telling myself — to adopt a heck care attitude mentioned earlier, it just couldn’t get through me. Yes, I might be late if I lend a helping hand but well, that few minutes might matter more to him than to me. Imagine, he lost his footings and…

So I walked up and approached him and directed him to the right direction. Realising that the lift is a long walk from where he is, I asked him if it’s ok for me to lead him up to the platforms via escalator. He was apologizing that he might delayed my time and etc. I told him I’m free and asked him to hold onto my elbow.

Thank god for my stint in PA that exposed me to various techniques to deal from the physically challenged peeps.

In any case; to guide a blind/ partially sighted person; one would need to follow these steps (Courtesy from RNIB and Webeye):

  1. Walk up, introduce yourself and speak to the person whom you are going to guide him.
  2. Offer the person your services and ask him/ her on how would they prefer to be guided.
  3. The person being guided should lightly grasp the guide’s arm, thumb out, just above their elbow. Right elbow of the guide will be grasped by the left hand of the person being guided, and vice versa. The left elbow of the guide will be grasped by the right hand of the person being guided. For children, have them grasp your wrist or hold your hand. When an individual acts as a human guide, they should walk a half step ahead of the person they are guiding.
  4. Tell them about every steps/ curbs/ stairs as you approach them. Tell them to step “up” or “down”.
  5. Mention any potential hazards/ narrow corridors that lie ahead and say where they are.
  6. If you are guiding someone into a seat, place their hand on the back of the seat before they sit down, so they can orientate themselves.
  7. Don’t walk away without saying you are leaving.

So that minute of help resulted in me knowing that he had his vision partially lost due to genetics. Despite the fact, he’s still making efforts to look for jobs and being mobile to stay positive.

When we parted at the platform, I was asking the few of the people standing on the platforms to look out for him and directed him to the right station (and yes, I got a few disapproving looks from some onlookers due to my tattoo and hair while I help the guy). Thank god for a couple of kind souls and he wished me well in my life.

Conversations like this pulled me up from all the rejections I had to face during my course of work (as they are downright demotivating) and I felt even more determined to help the community via Piggyback.


And thus I instill a habit for myself and the girls while decluttering those that I do not need. I will either post via Blessing for Low Incomes-Sg, Yishun Blessing group and my own BTO closed Facebook group to ask if anyone closeby would need the things that I no longer need.

To my surprise, a lot of my so-called stuff became prized processions of their new owners.

And this boils down to…

“When you judge others. You do not define them. You define yourself. No one had ever walk the same path as you. Experiences made current choices. Future choices are based on your aptitude towards life and attitude on how you approach it.”

Like what my mum always say, “When you are pointing 1 finger at others, you are pointing 4 at yourself.”

Brace on people and do lending a helping hand when possible because you’ll never know when you will need others to lend you theirs.

Life, Parenthood, Pregnancy, School

Year 2018

I always thought such post should always wait till the last week of Year 2018. To be written as a form of reflections or reminders.

3 more days to my wonderful 30th perhaps this post will be a prelude to my reborn – Life after 30s.

I guess Year 2018 is indeed a fulfilling year for me. I had went through a roller coaster of emotions, the ups and the downs, the lost and the found. Perhaps I should just highlight some important keynotes.

  1. The pregnancy – Earlier this year, I begin to sink into the fact that I am pregnant and had to cope with the thought of the terrible four. The painful part is the progress where I reached a point from denial to acceptance on what the future awaits. The pregnancy was indeed a tough one due to complications but I survived through the network of support.
  2. The baby – 6 years after the birth of Rayshirl, I need to restart the whole engine and this time round, on my own and by myself. Thank you to the friends who stood by me and the encouragements that tied me through the difficult moments. Say Yay to curb Pre/ Post Natal Depressions.
  3. O-Bye – Tell me about it. The dramas of the bike-sharing companies from the regulators barking on my back (with a pregnant belly) and my personal details released online by raged citizens to the formalization of liquidators. The whole episode set my mind on business management and also, wowed by the fact that I  have the experience to validate a company’s lifecycle within a good 15 months.
  4. Career Options. Offers came by and I was at lost to pick partly due to priorities listed out as I finally antagonized by the fact time with kids are something I do not wish to compromise. This is the part where I am at lost and doing some soul searching. Eventually, I picked something but was it the one?
  5. Entrepreneurship – I begin to let go on something I had embraced strongly for the past 2 years and went on an unknown pathway.
  6. Lifestyle – from cars to none and I finally understand that simplicity is the best key to everything. The way of life is be simple and stay humble.
  7. Friends – I made friends who turned out to teach me various lessons in life. I met alot of Entrepreneurs that set the tone of my mindset on managing people. I had spoke and learned to let go of toxic people within my circle.
  8. Sharanne – After 2 years of waiting, the transfer to NPS is finally validate and tears wiping on the last day at HIPS taught me that kids are the best investment that I had put in thus far.
  9. Family. My sister is finally off the shelves and this year I choose to embrace time spent with family over anything else.
  10. The Choice. I begin to understand that a lifetime is a long time and decide that the choice need to be made instead of just sitting on it and contemplate whether is this the right thing to do. However…

Image result for comeback stronger than setback

I learned and prayed that Life after 30s for me meant Peace and  No Dramas and slowly, finetuned my career and life choices.

I read about how Dragons fared in Year 2019. Sounds like a good year to me. Shall keep my fingers crossed. 🙂

Life, Parenthood, Reflections, Work

Little Bun is OUT.

Finally.

The little bun is out on 1st August and I’m 10 days in my confinement, feeling depressed over everything. I need that rest but I can’t rest and looking at Little Bun, I am motivated to go on stronger and tougher.

I doubted I had the courage to relook into the near future, everything seems so cloudy – I don’t  know how to move on with my career because another side of me wants to witness the growing up of Little Bun and DRMs. Every single job that came in with an attractive offer requires me to travel constantly. Draining up every single dollars and cents for this pregnancy made me feel bad towards DRMs. Sometimes I wonder if my life is really jinxed.

If only life is so perfect that I had a pillar of support, someone whom I can trust wholeheartedly, love wholeheartedly, less argumentative, less irritating and be there for me always. If only there is this person alive.

The husband had been slogging his life away and I really feel bad about it at times but again, BFF told me, it’s his outright duties, responsibilities and role. And there are inner thoughts about other stuff. Hopefully you feel me when I’m at my lowest.

On another hand, I wonder if the Government is serious about helping local enterprise because apparently, it doesn’t feel so. Because I had met up with so many roadblocks during my enterprise journey but I will persevere through. Because hardwork will reap success.

Am blessed to have many friends who are there cheering me on, providing all levels of support and importantly, family who are always there for me.

My MIL cycled all way from her house to my house and cooked for me EVERY SINGLE DAY – where to get this type of MIL? Despite everyone asking me to rest, I guess I got this super jian4 ming4, slogging on my computer away on both enterprises. 🙂

I CAN DO IT.

On contra, I am still exploring options and is attending interviews DURING my confinement. #WHATALIFE

I seriously just want to be grounded back home and look at Little Bun every single day. LOL. Reality is harsh.

一个人养孩子真的很辛苦。各位单亲妈妈/ 爸爸你们辛苦了。Jiayou!

Life, ongsisters, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Reflections

Overthinking versus Depression

I guess it’s always a fine line in between everything. And best, overthink leads to depression.

As an over-comer (if there is ever such a word) of depression, I guessed when I became inactive at work, depression started to kick in. What a workaholic life — which brings me to the next point.

Why did I choose this path? 2017/ 2018 is a bad year of bad decision making.

  1. Preggo and no one wants to hire and get stuck in a situation where I can’t seems to figure it out and stuck in the deep shit with all the relevant agencies.
  2. Why did I choose to be preggo when I had already kind of restart my life – with the kids all grown up and ready – I need to restart my life in terms of fine tuning to the lifestyle. I need another 7 years to be ready as I need the youngest one to get into a Primary School.
  3. Because of Pointer <1>, I speculate that I need to return to the workforce soon enough and again, I guess I will not have ample time to bond with my kid(s)/ recover from the post par tum and once again, my body will be screwed up due to all these. Correction – it’s already screwed up.
  4. Pregnancy/ Motherhood seems to be enjoyable from others POV but all I feel that I am suffering – to take care of all the bills, fret over life and etc, all alone.

I need to tell myself, stop thinking for others because no one will think for you. And for the kids, I will pick $ over anything else.

This is my main motive in life and indeed harsh fact of life that I had to choose a career that $ is more important than my own passion. What a joke.

Why can I find someone dependable when I’m at my lowest.

Why is everyone after motive? Why can’t I find someone who shares the same mentality – sometimes it’s better than to give than to receive. No expectations, nothing.

Penning these down to remind myself in near future. Perseverance will get me somewhere one day.

Countdown to see my baby, wipe out my savings 也是值得 (f_ _k the bills) and the depression.

August 2018 – 我会一切从头开始.

Life, Parenthood, Pregnancy

37 Weeks

1 more week to 38 weeks and it’s the legit full term of the pregnancy. Looking back, it seems that this pregnancy had made me realised alot in life, appreciating things that I once didn’t bother:

  1. Health – Healthy body bags a healthy pregnancy. I got no guts to announce this pregnancy because every single day, I am threading the fine lines between life and death. I had been experiencing STB (short-term bleeding) from Week 7 to Week 35 and need to get certain jabs done every single 2 weeks. Expensive pregnancy I would say but all is well for the priority of #BabySayge.
  2. Pace of Life (Time) – Yay. I used to be a fast-paced person and a renowned workaholic but this time round, I take things slow. Thanks to o_Bye shitty management, I manage to take a break on the compromise of money.
  3. Wealth – Because I had spent too much on this pregnancy prior to the arrival of the Queen aka #BabySayge, I realised I had learnt alot in this. Rich not in terms of cash but experience and I hope this will make me a stronger person.

The pain had kind of made me too depressed that everything seems to take a negative toll on me but thank god for BFFs, mummies, friends and closed family support that made me walked out from all these.

In the meantime, I will just pray that Sayge will just hang on, as much as I do/ would.

Parenthood, Pregnancy, Rants

Thirty/ Thrifty Mum

There are a lot of keyboard warriors hiding behind the screen giving judgmental shxts about stuff, tons of stuff.

Yup, turning 30 and this year seems to be a bad year for me. Out of job, weeks before my delivery because the company went into liquidation mode thus every single cents count. I was looking through alot of Influenzers/ KOLs postings on motherhood/ babyhood but apparently, not many would touch on the nodes of many surviving mother struggling to keep the place/ home/ kids/ job together. Challenging to be a lady nowadays man~

So when I turned 30, I realised I become alot auntie-r for obvious reasons. Duhz.

  1. Different priorities and needs (I just want a simple life, not a luxury life.)
  2. I’m getting old – priority is having more $ for rainy days and etc.
  3. I have 3 kids and the economy of scales need to work for me (otherwise I need to wait for the money to drop from the sky, as if huh).
  4. Harsh facts of life that the income gap is getting wider – meaning to say, the richer is getting richer but the poor is also getting, challenging. (I refused to use the word, “poorer” because in my opinion, they are rich in other ways. Experience is something you cannot buy.)

So being a mother of soon to be FOUR girls, I had made various choices in life in terms of labour and I hope this really help those who are struggling, like me.

1. CHOICE OF DELIVERY/ HOSPITAL/ WARD

  • Okay, IF you are someone who can take high threshold for pain, money is an issue and you do not mind not having a fixed gynae – the cheapest option, delivered at KKH via Natural Birth without Epidural, stays in B1 Ward. Just book an appointment online here (Click the “Book an Appointment” on the right panel) and there you go. You can just end up paying less than 1K+ after Medisave Claims and etc.
  • GYNAE Choice – For my choice because of health/  pregnancy complications, I went back to my beloved Gynae who delivered the 3 sisters – Dr Lawrence Ang who knows my conditions better than anyone else. I had c-sect done for the 3 sisters (Do not judge me. I did try natural birth but thank you to my No 1 as I couldn’t dilate after donkey years and thus went for an emergency c-sect due to complications and I can’t look back anymore.) And for your info, his rates are good, competitive rate for a Senior Consultant and also, his clinic is in Sembawang (I stay in Yishun ok?) which is nearer to me. Otherwise, you guys can pick his BFF, Dr Adrian Woodworth who is also on the same par and had clinics at Sengkang/ Choa Chu Kang.
  • DELIVERY Choice – Bo bian leh, got to choose the cheapest option – aka C-Sect with Spinal. C-Sect with Epidural is slightly expensive but well, it depends on individual.
  • WARD Choice – One thing I like about Dr Lawrence Ang is that, his rates hor, he will charged you for 4-bedded ward pricing but there is an auto upgrade to 2-bedded one. I did stay in single-bedded before and the only pro is that, the baby AND the husband can be forever with you throughout your stay. But LOL, I’m going to see the baby for the rest of my life. That 3D2N will not make a difference to me.
  • For the Medisave part – Can claim up to $3,500 and $900 for antenatal expenses (Do bring along all the original receipts upon your admission and the nurse will assist you on the claims for both)
  • I will share my final bill with everyone here after delivery but expected to top up cash between $4k to $6k depends on how serious my pregnancy complications. Sighs for my lousy body/ health and me.

2. CONFINEMENT NANNY – YAY OR NAY? (SEE OPTION 3 IF U WENT ON A NAY).

Okay being a mother of 3 and had experienced confinement for 3 times, I guess I am seasoned enough not to engage a confinement lady. A NAY FOR ME. That 3K plus to engage 1x confinement lady hor, I can put it for better use like buy stuff for the girls and etc. But of course, if anyone in the family can help you to look after abit, is a bonus – like my mum/ family members/ extended family had always kept a lookout for one another. And in the past aka the ancient days, where got people engage confinement lady? They look after the babies/ the whole kampung by themselves.

The only shit thing that one needs to do is that; follow the strict confinement rules. Here’s mine:

  • Shower with the Confinement Herbs. You can get the herbs from Eu Yang Sang/ Hock Hua or those traditional medical shops and just ask for Da Fong Ai 大风艾. Otherwise you can check out Carousell or purchase the herbs from JB, Malaysia (Price is definitely cheaper). I bought a 31 days worth of herbs because I had intend to shower almost everyday. The keyword – intend. If my mum happens to see this, she will slaughter me alive but well, I think hygiene is way more important.
  • Eat alot of Ginger and Sesame Oil. I intend to airfry Old Ginger as Chips before my birth and add into every single shit I eat for confinement. LOL I will share the recipe and etc in hopefully my next post.
  • Drink alot of Ginger/ Long Gan + Red Dates Tea. The elderly says, drinking water during confinement will cause water retention and thus cannot drink water during the confinement, instead drink alot of ginger/ long gan + red dates/ dang3 sheng1 water. For me, I stock up Taiwan Jiang Mu Tea + Taiwan Long Gan + Red Dates Tea via Qoo10 here and also bought the dang3 sheng1 water combi from the traditional medical shops. Lastly, I had stocked up this cordyceps + ginseng bottle similar to bu3 yao1 jing1. AND my mother gave me alot of D.O.M. Again, for cheaper option, can carousell/ ask friend to buy from taiwan/ airfrov or buy from JB, Malaysia.
  • Wear well. – socks/ long pants and etc. I bought alot of nursing wears from Qoo10 and Carousell sia. Cheap and good. 🙂

3. CONFINEMENT FOOD DELIVERY.

Another option is that if you are not engaging a confinement lady, you can consider ordering a 28-days confinement meals. For me, as I am a vegetarian. I only had one choice that’s from Nature Veg. I did order their trial meal to try and guess what, the portion is scary that I think I can eat the same shits for 3 meals. So as of now, I decided not to go without the ordering of confinement meals and cook on my own (See Pointer 2, Point 2 – Eat alot of Ginger and Sesame Oil.) because:

  1. I am a small eater. I eat like a bird and NOT particular about food.
  2. Save the money. Look at the cost of the engagement.
  3. Improved my cooking and thank god for the invention of double boiler/ slow cooker and etc.
  4. I can use this time to improve my cooking. And I had prepared alot of recipes to go with for my 28 days. 🙂 I will blog about this real soon kays. 

Perhaps I might change my mind if I decided to put time into better use. But well, as of now, I shall keep it as it is. And my mum did say one cannot always touch the water. Looks like I have someone to prepare my ingredients and wash the dishes. =P

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Afterall, even if I engage the confinement lady/ meals, after my 28 days of confinement, I will still need to be on own what. So doesn’t matter. I bathed my 3 girls since they are a teeny tiny little bub.

And hor, if I can save near to 4K plus if I do everything on own leh. Of course, got help is a bonus but 天时, 地理, 人合 is not with me right now. I can do it. 🙂

And for the others essentials for myself/ baby – I got it from Qoo10/ Carousell/ Baby Fairs/ Online Promotions. Great Singapore Sales for the win. For baby clothes/ items wise, I am good with preloved from family (Thank you Aurelia. :X) and BABIES OUTGROWN THEIR CLOTHES DAMN FAST.

Good to have a network of supportive family/ mummies and friends.

Thank you to those who had lend me a helping hand thus far and give words of encouragements. Staying positive is important. And ta-da, I spent near to 2 hours to blog this entry sia. Going to continue my packing of the room and some admin works.

Till the next post. xoxo