As an entrepreneur, as a mother, as a friend, as a woman, I realized in this world. You can please no one and also a lot of naysayers who will be there to bring you down, be it whether the person is your family, friend, or even no one in relevancy to you.
End day after being through this phase, I just realised the most important thing is how you feel about it yourself.
I used to think about getting validation from people closed to me aka close kins but I realised they do not walk the same path as me, neither they have the same experience and focus on the same subject matters thus… after so long;
Disclaimer: I’m posting as a mother of 4 and these are my own opinions thus it does not represent any organizations or individuals except myself.
Recently, I saw many news that spoke about the mental wellness and mental health of the younger generations. True that, there are many attributes that contribute to the negative well being — environmental, culture, the rise of the social media generations and the support made available.
Especially these 2 years due to the pandemic, many are facing not just the pandemic fatigue but the students felt a significant number of stress as the curriculum seems to be disrupted and it was done “nor here nor there”. And our society, sadly still focus largely on the academic.
My daughters shared that it’s hard to concentrate during the e-classes and the peer support to study together is not there. They do not know where they fall short of, teachers have been trying hard to finish the curriculum and ensure the students understand as much in this current situation (please note that they are unable to WFH like some of us and they too, are parents to their own kids.) to the best they could however kids being kids, they have this uncertainty and are unsure where their level of understanding are placed within the curriculum spectrum, within themselves.
And worst case scenario, in our context and (asian) culture, many of us do not adopt an open communication channel to share out the issues within. To make things worst, there’s a social stigma around mental wellness.
All I want to bring across is – us as parents, despite majority are brought up by the (traditional) generations, we should try our best to encourage kids to speak up in person or through private text if they felt awkward to share f2f and to assure them that it’s ok to feel stressed, to say no and to seek some professional help when required.
As parents, I just want them to know that I will be there for them and a healthy child is important than academics.
Decided to make it or break it and thus left NTUitive/ NAMIC in Apr 2021 to help to pave ways for the family business despite perhaps I know this ain’t an easy journey and at the same time, took a break to work on myself, mental health and reassessing my path forward.
And then I realised – things will never work out the way it is despite how much you have planned including your back up plans.
1 week before I left NTUitive, my crypto trading went beyond the negative for the first time as I didn’t pay attention to my stop losses plan. For short trade, it’s heart breaking but I decided to HODL. And the best, R crashed my car and I just need to bring forward to scrap it. (Edited to include that he went on well and survived the crash. Er hmm.)
1 week after I left NTUitive, the spike in the community cases and clusters made me foresee a dejavu which honestly is driving me nuts due to the incident that happened last year that left me with trust issues with relationships ever since. I told myself that I will fight and win this war but internally, it gave me insomnia and etc. Thank god for my closest kins standing by me and distracting me wherever possible.
My said concerns were formalized with the Phase 2 Heightened Alert aka semi lockdowns. I’m forever amazed with the names that the Government has come up with, the circuit breaker, etc.
Took the whole month trying to find the right business model, right fit and also, spending time with the kiddos and the trying to upskill my knowledge. Decided that I need to really focus on agile methodologies to focus on matters thus I signed up for the course – Certified Scrum Master by NTUC Learning Hub (RTP: S$214) as I have utilized my Skillsfuture credits, I’m glad that I’m still eligible to get an one-off subsidy from NTUC UTAP programme and only paid S$107 to attend this.
This decision was made when I am thinking hard to push forward with my Masters or just, going through the skillsets based programme. Went for the latter as I’m afraid that I couldn’t commit with my careers and kids and I believed that academic credentials is important but being “human” and humane definitely bring it to another level. 🙂
Took these months to catch up on things that I couldn’t afford to do when I was in a full-time job and managing kids and finally made the efforts to declutter the house.
Went to catch up with a few friends when Government announced Phase 3 Heightened Alert where dining for 2 has been made possible. Also went for a dinner with R at newly opened Saute Sushi at Paya Lebar Square. Love their menu and the train conveyor belt that enhanced the whole dining experience. Hopefully as people are more conscious about the health and climate change, people will swing over to a healthier and vegetarian/ vegan diet. 🙂
Check out their spread and their prices are priced at an affordable pricing. 🙂 Currently, no reservations can be made and we queued for 30 mins (BFF queued for 50 mins) prior to get the seats.
Honestly, hope things get better for Singapore and looking forward to better years ahead. 🙂
During these 3 months, I learnt to be a better person and definitely shall not lower my standards from this moment on. 🙂 Empowering mind, empowering lives.
I found my closure and have locked up all my past negative posts.
Moving forward, there will only be positivity sharing.
Self Discipline is the BEST Discipline.
Till date, we will let fate decides.
Update: 15 Dec 2020; Amazingly, the cycle repeats and I managed to clear out on my Instagram. It’s ironic to be socially-decluttered and focus on self, life, kids and business.
A restart is good, a recharge is definitely better.
I would rather spend my effort in investing than focusing on the wrong things and reasons. Join me at my crypto journey today. Do you think crypto or rather BITCOIN will reach the 20K USD before XMAS? 🙂
Welcome to use my referral code: WILLYNN_576906 if you trade on coinhako. 🙂
Recently, Shar-B started to request to go out with her BFFs and being a paranoid mum, I was soooooo fearful that she met nasty people or perhaps a paedo preying on people. However as part of growing up, I knew
And there’s nothing foolproof, I taught her this “Plan X” thing which I feel it’s useful to share with the parents out here. I chanced upon this amongst a Facebook post in the past.
Plan X – To get out of an uncomfortable situation with no questions asked.
I told Shar-B if she needs to get out of an uncomfortable situation with no questions asked, all she needs was to message me a “X” and I will call her immediately. If she didn’t pick up, I will type her a series of standard answers.
Mummy: Hey Shar, where are you? I need you to come back to handle an emergency situation. Where are you now? I will come pick you in a few minutes.
And if anyone were to ask, Shar-B would have said, “I’m not sure why but my mum wants me back now.”
I guessed being a parent – the act of worrying will last me till the end of the lifetime. I will not give chance to anyone to abuse/ make use of my daughters. I do not raise them up as such.
Okay, Bitcoin is mooning (yay!), so are the 2019-nCoV cases. Over the past few days, many of my groupchats had been flooded with tons of videos/ messages of nCoV virus news, prevention tips and many more. However I notice a trend that suddenly, everyone become 鼠(su)per duper paranoid, overstoring of:
And it hit me real hard when my family members started to stop me from going to the mall near home due to suspected case surfacing. Even the paranoid-ness set in with my daughters and it placed me in a dilemma.
I wondered. What will happen to the economy? Ok maybe for the fact that that the purchases of the masks and etc will thrive but what about the others?
To be real honest here, I always feel that we just need to be socially responsible and not overly paranoid, to protect ourselves and to others especially during this time of crisis.
And how should we start?
Do not hoard supplies of the above 4 mentions. Some people might need it more than us.
When sick, do not go out and loiter. Stay home or minimize contacts with anyone. Wear a mask when stepping out.
Practise good daily hygiene. Wash your hands with soap thoroughly. Avoid constantly rubbing of eyes.
Avoid touching handle bars, grips, metal surfaces and then rubbed your eyes/ put it into the mouth. Please note this for the kids.
Drink the daily Vitamin-C and plenty of plain water. Plain water help to flush out the “toxic”.
EAT YOUR GREEN VEGETABLES and less of raw foods and do not go near livestock.
Squeeze/ Cough into tissue paper and fold it in and dispose into the trash bins.
LASTLY, do not spread FAKE NEWS. Get the latest updates from the Government sites. Otherwise sign up with Gov.Sg WhatsApp via: https://go.gov.sg/whatsapp
Take good care of the babies, young children and elderly as their immune systems are lower as per compared. Oh yes and pregnant mummies~
During this time of crisis, we need to really be socially responsible for the benefits of others. Because imagine, if we really hog the masks, practise all the good habits and etc, and someone really sick decide to go out to shop and then we kana. It’s seriously a wtf situation and don’t make any sense at all.
I do understand that everyone will argue about the 14-days pre-hibernation period that the virus might not be detectable but as long we practise the good habits, there is a good percentage that the virus might not spread like wildfire or maybe “killed” by the soap and all before it penetrated into our body/ immune system.
And it really saddened me that some of the people whom I know that needs the alcohol stabs for their medical condition is unable to purchase what they need due to OOS.
On another random note; Oranges are good source of Vitamin-C and thus I used the left over Mandarin Oranges to make fruit juices and ice pops to make sure the kids are well covered with Vitamin C and minimize outings for them.
Ironically, it made us more opportunities to bond together as a family nucleus, because the kids had already planned out what to cook for lunch/ dinner over the weekends as we will be “stuck at home”. Although many times when I passed by Orchard Central and all, there is NO/ lesser crowds.
My hearts goes out to the Business Owners, Patients, Kins of Patients, Frontline Personnels and the people in Hubei/ Wuhan – Bless you all.
Another lesson to remind that we must not take things for granted, heavily emphasized and validated by the Kobe Bryant’s case.
I just happened to be busy with all the unnecessary stuff since Christmas and furthermore, Lunar New Year seems to come real quick this year (less than 1 month FROM Christmas) and there is so much to do yet with limited time. And I realized that I did not set down a time to review and do up the resolutions so here I am.
Reviews for the Year 2019:
Changed a new job. Left the Blockchain world for some space and peace.
Completed a Prof. Diploma in Digital Marketing
Begin to spend more time home/ with parents/ with kids.
Begin my journey in leisure Crypto-Investing/ Investment Strategies (for self)
Joined an Accelerator for Piggyback.
Relaunched Scentimental Singapore.
Reorganize my thoughts and launch this space.
Year 2019 had been a year of soul-searching and understand what I want and need. A thorough awakening moment to redefine the core of things.
<Priority> Less toxicity includes the environment and the people.
Focus on my goals in self attainment for business/ self/ family.
Spend more time with the girls/ family.
Spin-off Piggyback/ Scentimental/ Consultancy.
Learning to be a bigger person.
I need to learn to let go in the Year 2020 and by doing so, I held back on my social media postings where I am determined to go for the social media detox for a year and focus on my #willynn2020goals.
Seriously, this could be the only year where I focus on the business and leave the “stable” job for good. I only have 11 months left and my life is still “intoxicated”. I would be finding my winning formula to build my “Work-From-Home” empire and leverage on the gig/ sharing economy where the passion lives.
And some, even went to the extent to commit suicide over bad grades and critics.
The conversation with the girls especially Sharanne set me thinking about the expectations from (1) Parents, (2) Childrens/ Peer Pressure and lastly (3) the Society.
From Kids’ perspective, they only see as Exams, Stress, Breakdown.
On a legit note, the girls always shared with me that the majority of their friends had super packed schedule for the week and near to 90% are focusing on academics, some took up the music schedules as parents assume that it was a form of de-stress and based on the instrument that the parents like instead of what the kids love. And the reason?
They are too young to make decision so as Parent we have the responsibility to plan out for them.
Precisely. And that’s also the point that they are young that they might not be capable enough to handle the stress and negative emotions.
So it set me thinking, what went wrong and what could we (as Parents) have done better?
I have friends who are on #TeamTuitionIsLife where Tuition plays a major big role in their lives and its everything they that do. The removal of tuition will make them “handicap” and unable to move on positively. Kids of #TeamTuitionIsLife normally have no much choices on their own and would need to obey the lesson plans crafted out by their parents, for their own good. Sounds familiar? Out of 10 friends, 8 of them fall into this category.
The remaining minority belongs to the #ChillMom where everything is possible and I belong to this category. Not even a single class of tuition/ enrichment and every weekend is just time spent with the kids.
I personally think that sometimes some kids will need enrichment to facilitate and motivate learning but don’t overdo it. Find a right balance. Keep the signs in check. Mentality is important for parents. Don’t yell and threaten on bad grades. It ain’t everything.
Kids felt more stress when parents compare as the (2) Peer Pressure is real. And just to be honest that kids are more sheltered as per compare to the kids 20-30 years ago. The latte developed grit to deal with things while kids of today need some parental grips, making them more vulnerable to critics.
I guess I focus on the different aspects – Soft Skills where I call it the EQ instead of IQ (Academics). The girls had been taught, social media skills, entrepreneurship, customer relations, product different and etc… Importantly I feel that parents need to teach kids how to manage failure or in nicer words, I call it, managing the not ideal situation. That’s why I curatedLittle Towkay Entrepreneurs Bootcamp for the kids, in order to give them a more holistic experience.
Acceptance is important. I do not have the greatest mind and will never do well in Maths in this lifetime. What I can do is to accept this weakness and hunt for my strengths. I can’t possibly force myself to be a Mathematician. Grades are not everything.
That’s why if I believed my kids can do well in Arts. The focus and the shift will be towards the SOTA direction. Afterall, who’s gonna teach the future generations the arty farty stuff if EVERYONE focus on the academics? Who’s going to teach ballet when everyone graduated as a lawyer or doctor? 😉
There’s always a Master in every profession, tio bo?
Afterall, I would rather spend the time and money spent on something that they love, so that Iwould get a positive ROI. Otherwise I’ll be waste my time and money on something that they do not even like/ love a teeny tiny bit and worst, do not learn from or make no change to one’s life.
Having 4 kiddos and to balance on that economy of scale is hard. Need to maximize the assets so I would emphasize on:
Getting them to learn something that they love.
Tell them Academics is not everything. Attitude is.
Accepting failures (and not scoring more than 85/ 100 is ok)
Enjoy their childhood. 🙂
Personally, this is what I would do and remind myself to do better than to surrender and join the #TeamTuitionIsLife.
No doubts, Society play a part too. We need more parents like this to overturn the mentality that focus strongly on grades and adapt more towards character development.
To parents out there, don’t let anything or anyone guilt trip you. The most important thing that you can provide to the kids is your time and love. 😊
Parents gonna walk the talk before a change is well-noted within the education system and system takes time.
Hit me up if you are keen in the Children Bootcamp.