Okay, Bitcoin is mooning (yay!), so are the 2019-nCoV cases. Over the past few days, many of my groupchats had been flooded with tons of videos/ messages of nCoV virus news, prevention tips and many more. However I notice a trend that suddenly, everyone become 鼠(su)per duper paranoid, overstoring of:
And it hit me real hard when my family members started to stop me from going to the mall near home due to suspected case surfacing. Even the paranoid-ness set in with my daughters and it placed me in a dilemma.
I wondered. What will happen to the economy? Ok maybe for the fact that that the purchases of the masks and etc will thrive but what about the others?
To be real honest here, I always feel that we just need to be socially responsible and not overly paranoid, to protect ourselves and to others especially during this time of crisis.
And how should we start?
Do not hoard supplies of the above 4 mentions. Some people might need it more than us.
When sick, do not go out and loiter. Stay home or minimize contacts with anyone. Wear a mask when stepping out.
Practise good daily hygiene. Wash your hands with soap thoroughly. Avoid constantly rubbing of eyes.
Avoid touching handle bars, grips, metal surfaces and then rubbed your eyes/ put it into the mouth. Please note this for the kids.
Drink the daily Vitamin-C and plenty of plain water. Plain water help to flush out the “toxic”.
EAT YOUR GREEN VEGETABLES and less of raw foods and do not go near livestock.
Squeeze/ Cough into tissue paper and fold it in and dispose into the trash bins.
LASTLY, do not spread FAKE NEWS. Get the latest updates from the Government sites. Otherwise sign up with Gov.Sg WhatsApp via: https://go.gov.sg/whatsapp
Take good care of the babies, young children and elderly as their immune systems are lower as per compared. Oh yes and pregnant mummies~
During this time of crisis, we need to really be socially responsible for the benefits of others. Because imagine, if we really hog the masks, practise all the good habits and etc, and someone really sick decide to go out to shop and then we kana. It’s seriously a wtf situation and don’t make any sense at all.
I do understand that everyone will argue about the 14-days pre-hibernation period that the virus might not be detectable but as long we practise the good habits, there is a good percentage that the virus might not spread like wildfire or maybe “killed” by the soap and all before it penetrated into our body/ immune system.
And it really saddened me that some of the people whom I know that needs the alcohol stabs for their medical condition is unable to purchase what they need due to OOS.
On another random note; Oranges are good source of Vitamin-C and thus I used the left over Mandarin Oranges to make fruit juices and ice pops to make sure the kids are well covered with Vitamin C and minimize outings for them.
Ironically, it made us more opportunities to bond together as a family nucleus, because the kids had already planned out what to cook for lunch/ dinner over the weekends as we will be “stuck at home”. Although many times when I passed by Orchard Central and all, there is NO/ lesser crowds.
My hearts goes out to the Business Owners, Patients, Kins of Patients, Frontline Personnels and the people in Hubei/ Wuhan – Bless you all.
Another lesson to remind that we must not take things for granted, heavily emphasized and validated by the Kobe Bryant’s case.
zAddress: 61 Ang Mo Kio Avenue 8 #01-06 Jubilee Square Singapore 569814 (open in Google Maps) Contact No: +65-63390570 | Facebook:Veggie House & MAX SEE Payment: Cash because I was with the little kiddos and did not manage to ask. (Not sure if they accept NETS/ Visa/ GrabPay (Please FB/ Call them to find out) Operating Hours: Daily, 10:30am – 09:30pm Vegan’s Notes: Vegan options available here. Please inform when ordering.
So apparently I went to order takeaways when I was with #yahyahpayaya and R as I was rushing from places to places. To be honest, I’m thankful for a hands-on business partner and someone who can read my mind (even though R will shoot me like @#$%^&).
And it just happened that I was in Ang Mo Kio and was chancing upon this stall where I was pondering over the decade changes at Jubilee Square. And I remember BFF shared about their flagship store located in Toa Payoh previously.
Anyway since there ain’t much of the vegetarian choices, I went to try out the cuisine since I never had the chance to eat at their flagship stall.
To me, it’s quite convenient as it’s just 5 minutes walk from Ang Mo Kio MRT (right opposite Ang Mo Kio MRT Station).
Superb. Anything with Vegetarian YTF and Bak Kut Teh will triumph in taste. And Veggie House has both.
Reasonable for a cafe-tier pricing. Portion seems ok.
Verdict: I think it’s unfair to judge based on the above as I am rushing for time. But the YTF tasted yummy and the soup is decent and light about 2 hours after when I bought the food. Might want to go there for a second time to give a better judgment.
Comments below if you had makan there before, otherwise stay tune to my update.
And some, even went to the extent to commit suicide over bad grades and critics.
The conversation with the girls especially Sharanne set me thinking about the expectations from (1) Parents, (2) Childrens/ Peer Pressure and lastly (3) the Society.
From Kids’ perspective, they only see as Exams, Stress, Breakdown.
On a legit note, the girls always shared with me that the majority of their friends had super packed schedule for the week and near to 90% are focusing on academics, some took up the music schedules as parents assume that it was a form of de-stress and based on the instrument that the parents like instead of what the kids love. And the reason?
They are too young to make decision so as Parent we have the responsibility to plan out for them.
Precisely. And that’s also the point that they are young that they might not be capable enough to handle the stress and negative emotions.
So it set me thinking, what went wrong and what could we (as Parents) have done better?
I have friends who are on #TeamTuitionIsLife where Tuition plays a major big role in their lives and its everything they that do. The removal of tuition will make them “handicap” and unable to move on positively. Kids of #TeamTuitionIsLife normally have no much choices on their own and would need to obey the lesson plans crafted out by their parents, for their own good. Sounds familiar? Out of 10 friends, 8 of them fall into this category.
The remaining minority belongs to the #ChillMom where everything is possible and I belong to this category. Not even a single class of tuition/ enrichment and every weekend is just time spent with the kids.
I personally think that sometimes some kids will need enrichment to facilitate and motivate learning but don’t overdo it. Find a right balance. Keep the signs in check. Mentality is important for parents. Don’t yell and threaten on bad grades. It ain’t everything.
Kids felt more stress when parents compare as the (2) Peer Pressure is real. And just to be honest that kids are more sheltered as per compare to the kids 20-30 years ago. The latte developed grit to deal with things while kids of today need some parental grips, making them more vulnerable to critics.
I guess I focus on the different aspects – Soft Skills where I call it the EQ instead of IQ (Academics). The girls had been taught, social media skills, entrepreneurship, customer relations, product different and etc… Importantly I feel that parents need to teach kids how to manage failure or in nicer words, I call it, managing the not ideal situation. That’s why I curatedLittle Towkay Entrepreneurs Bootcamp for the kids, in order to give them a more holistic experience.
Acceptance is important. I do not have the greatest mind and will never do well in Maths in this lifetime. What I can do is to accept this weakness and hunt for my strengths. I can’t possibly force myself to be a Mathematician. Grades are not everything.
That’s why if I believed my kids can do well in Arts. The focus and the shift will be towards the SOTA direction. Afterall, who’s gonna teach the future generations the arty farty stuff if EVERYONE focus on the academics? Who’s going to teach ballet when everyone graduated as a lawyer or doctor? 😉
There’s always a Master in every profession, tio bo?
Afterall, I would rather spend the time and money spent on something that they love, so that Iwould get a positive ROI. Otherwise I’ll be waste my time and money on something that they do not even like/ love a teeny tiny bit and worst, do not learn from or make no change to one’s life.
Having 4 kiddos and to balance on that economy of scale is hard. Need to maximize the assets so I would emphasize on:
Getting them to learn something that they love.
Tell them Academics is not everything. Attitude is.
Accepting failures (and not scoring more than 85/ 100 is ok)
Enjoy their childhood. 🙂
Personally, this is what I would do and remind myself to do better than to surrender and join the #TeamTuitionIsLife.
No doubts, Society play a part too. We need more parents like this to overturn the mentality that focus strongly on grades and adapt more towards character development.
To parents out there, don’t let anything or anyone guilt trip you. The most important thing that you can provide to the kids is your time and love. 😊
Parents gonna walk the talk before a change is well-noted within the education system and system takes time.
Hit me up if you are keen in the Children Bootcamp.
Yes, thats right. I inked my first tattoo after contemplating for like years, maybe 10 years or so?
Thus I think it would be great if I get this penned down, right here for keepsake purpose.
As it’s my first tattoo, I had archived and combed quite a number of local/overseas Artists prior to the decision made.
As I stumbled across many, the one I would love to have are all based in Korea. But anyway, I had kind of decide to ink 4 roses to symbolise the girls on my back. But question is who will be the one?
So there’s this encounter where I called in a manicurist to my home to do up the CNY Nails and happen to chance upon a floral tattoo that she has. I had this immediate liking and enquire further, she told me that hers was done in Singapore. And I check upon the Instagram account and realised that her booking is closed and will reopen in May. Due to some reasons, I missed the May booking slots and therefore I can only go for the July’s.
Fast forward to 2 weeks before the slots open, I kiasu-ly prepared all the information that will need to be sent to book a slot.
The day came, and I sent in all the information. And patiently wait for a reply. It came back after 3 days and a slot had been confirmed on 08 Aug. Nice.
However I changed my mind about the 4 roses and opted for 4 birth flowers that symbolises the girls.
Went for the appointment 30 minutes late and was there for near to 3 hours. It was ticklish and the pain was bearable. I even dozed off for awhile. LOL.
I love the results. Although the mum wasnt fascinated by the idea of inking initially but she had good vibes about it when she saw it for the very 1st time.
Totally loving it. Check this out:
The tracing before the inking starts:
Fell in love immediately when she sent over the concept to me.
If you are keen to get yourself ink, can consider the Singapore-based Artist Sylvia. 😘❤️
Sometimes I think my guts are way bigger than what my mind, body and soul can contain but I guess, at extreme times, it will be a desperate call for everything else when things get… situational.
Over the weekends, the girls went for a stay over at D’Resort to celebrate joy and (my SIL) Joyce’s birthday (no pun intended). So as every kids would asked – Is there bathtub? Is there swimming pool? Is there…
And sometimes how I wished my answer is a flat, NO. But Google being the evil babysitter answered to all of the girls’ questions.
Well done, Google. Well done, Technology.
So the next question is – Can YOU bring me to swim? Can YOU bring me to… Horrifying indeed. Sometimes these Q&As turn me off to an extend where I wanted to just stuff everyone back to my womb. I kid you not.
And it happened when, no one is free to bring them and the only person available is ME. And swimming tends to be a hazardous activity down my list of “DO NOT”(s) especially the kids are the adventurous ones. And girls being girls, I always had this constant fear that bad stuff will happened to them (Read up those molest cases and etc…)… So the first tactic that I always pulled off?
Clear Flat Rejections – Sorry, menses is here. LOL. (But having said that, the girls went to the extreme (and extra mile) to check me out and realised I lied. Damn.)
So when Tactic #1 failed and if the request is still within one’s ability, just go for it lor.
And to ensure that the guilt trip trap will be a success. The girls emphasized on their “last” swimming experience and the lack of childhood physically exhaustive activities (because I was always the safe-mama who won’t appreciate rides…)
And ta-da here we go! A mother of 4 lugging 3 toddlers plus a baby. However I was thinking if in worst case scenario of drowning, who should I save first. HAHAHA. So in order to prevent that (other than NOT bringing them to swim), I set rules.
Do not get out of my side/ sight.
Only go for the baby pools if not, one shall forfeit the chance to go swimming ever again and embrace Rule #1
If someone is close and made you un-comfy, come back to my side and tell me straight to the face (and point to that someone who made you un-comfy. Human nature to disengage from bad stuff if one can recognise…)
3 of them must stay together within close range and keep a look out for one another otherwise, there won’t be a next time, ever again. This rule facilitate bonding, keeping a lookout for one another and self awareness of the surroundings.
And I need to place the barang barang within my sight because I bought cash and phone…
And ta-da, it works until the shower part.
The girls refused to leave and Sayge was all time as she’s feeling the drain and dozed off in the pool. So I did a dare and left the girls at the pool while I went to change Sayge out and changed out of my wet attire.
The issue is how, how to shower and change with a cranky baby in the arm and the 3 girls in the pool without adult supervision.
So this is what I did.
For Sayge and Myself:
We showered together despite her cranky screams.
Dried her up, wrapped her in the towel while I took off every single piece of clothing of mine (so that it won’t get her wet).
Change her into warm clothes with me, being so bare.
Use my master hand to carry her and the other to pull up the undies, then shorts.
Did a full squat, put Sayge in between my thighs and put a world’s fastest challenge of bra wearing within milliseconds.
Repeat the same world’s fastest challenge to pull over my top.
Dump the wet clothes into a plastic bag.
Ta-da, the deed is done (with a back ache) within 5-8 mins. LOL
And from this I learnt 4 things:
Bring a dark color, one piece loose dress in near future.
Ensure the bag is a waterproof bag.
Take on Yoga during free time.
ASK SOMEONE ALONG NEXT TIME.
And where are the girls? Went to play the slides on loop basis and the Lifeguard is such a nice guy to help me oversee-ing them. The showering part for the girls is easier. I just prepare the towels, their bathing necessities and clothes, they will just do whatever it is. And the best plan is the girls can cooperate to shower with Sayge’s timing altogether, because Sharanne can help to carry Sayge but well… Independence is always better than to rely on others. ^^
And during the session, I saw a few of the mothers who just changed right outside the room because they have toddlers who need to be within their sight. And this is why, kudos to mothers. 🙂
After all, it’s all worthwhile to put smiles on the kids’ face. ^^
Gonna end this post with a picture taken by Sharanne, the self-proclaimed photographer/ future Youtuber. :X
Appreciate mothers and those who are in service line. 🙂
Found this back in my archives in the Year 2014. Please note, this was written in the Year 2014 when I am just 25 years old!
From a point of view of a young (working) mum.
Please note that this would be a lengthy post. 🙂
And this is my story…
I was pregnant with my elder girl, Sharanne when I am still doing my part-time degree over at Kaplan Singapore. I guessed I did brave through 2 semesters with her in my tummy and the best part, my last paper was just a week before my expected delivery date (August 2010). So I had her through an emergency c-section on 19 August 2010 when I am just 21 years old.
Everything from pregnancy was a trauma for me as I didn’t know what to do being a new mum and everything was like, wow, new to me. I need to get to know and pick up new things such as lingoes and terms like to latch on, burping postures and etc… Although it was “scary” in a way, I am thankful to have my mum, my extended family (in-laws) and experienced mummy friends who guided me through the days.
I remember the instance when I had to discharge from the hospital without Sharanne as she had serious jaundice issue. That moment, I teared like nobody because I am so scared to lose her and I didn’t know what the hell the Doctor is trying to tell me. But well, everything went on fine until…
At that point in time, I was still breast feeding Sharanne and my period didn’t come at all which both my Gynae and my friends told me that it’s quite normal. I didn’t pay attention to it so I live my life as per normal. My days are just like spending with Sharanne and looking out for jobs (as I had finally graduated). I was offered a position at a statutory board after a few months of hardwork but I told them, I can only start work in January 2011 as I want to spend more time with Sharanne.
I took a short celebratory trip in late 2010 to Taiwan – to celebrate my birthday, my graduation, my new role in life as a mum, my new found job. However, I felt nauseous and super unwell throughout the whole trip. Somehow or rather my instinct told me… I “might” be pregnant. And I bought a pregnancy test kit when I am during my last few days back in Taiwan. Guess what, I AM PREGNANT, AGAIN.
When I returned to Singapore, I quickly made an appointment with my Gynae. He confirmed on my pregnancy and checked that the EDD was in Early July. In other words, I am pregnant with my 2nd one… when Sharanne is roughly two months old. My Gynae told me that it’s ok and due to my age, the womb recovered quite fast and thus I am able to get pregnant within a short span.
At that point in time, I wasn’t sure if I can cope with 2 kids of such a close age gap and I heard a lot from my friends that Sharanne might not understand and might just throw a tantrum by seeking MORE attention which literally freaks me out but well, I LOVE KIDS! 🙂 And also, I was shattered because I just secured a job and now, who will employed someone who is soon to be going on maternity leave.
But to my astonishment, my potential employer still accept me despite my pregnancy as I think it’s fair for me to voice it out to them. Till date, I am really thankful for their kindness as it’s not easy to find such a good employer to start with.
Random Inserts: As I go along, I will list down various Pro(s) & Con(s). For easy references, I will highlight the Pros and Cons.
Well well, for as a start, the Pro that I have is (it works be it whether I have 2 or 3 kids):
PRO – Things can be passed down:
I was so happy when my Gynae told me that I’m expecting a girl. Because when I’m pregnant with Sharanne, I bought a lot of clothes and I didn’t know that babies outgrown the clothes, THIS fast. So I was thinking that Baby No. 2 can just hop on to whatever I bought for Sharanne as majority of the clothes were brand new and unworn. (Sharanne is a fat baby. LOL)
Another PRO would be:
I know what I will be going through.
I would stare blankly when I hear the various lingoes. I know what to expect and won’t be as fearful as per compared to my first pregnancy. I know what to expect and what’s the rough outcome…
Difficulties in Handling No 1.
As Sharanne is still a baby and by the time I was 6 month pregnancy with Andrealynn (the name of Baby No 2) when the tummy shown, I had a hard time in bathing Sharanne and carry her. I will get tired easily and hardly had the breath to play with Sharanne especially when I had started my full time job when I am just 3 months pregnant. My life then > Job, Sharanne, Visit Gynae, Rest.
Fast forward >>> I gave birth via C-sect on 8th July 2011 to Andrealynn.
That was the best moment of my life as its my first witnessing the birth of my child. Sharanne was an emergency so I had to go through full body anesthesia. But Andrealynn’s was a half body anesthesia. 🙂
I had the first tears of joy. And life is definitely beautiful with the kids.
As Sharanne was nearing a year old then. She was totally at lost with the new addition. And after a few rounds of interaction, I could say… they will the best playmates in life, forever.
My friend told me do buy a toy each representing each of them and do an exchange, like an acceptance of one another and they will be the best friends of life. I did and not sure if it did attribute to the fact of acceptance.
Well well, having 2 kids of an young age is an issue when especially Sharanne is still taking her baby steps and learning to walk.
CON – Exhaustive in terms of Mental, Physical and Psychological.
Mental – As I need to keep an eye on one another and at times I need to break Sharanne’s fall when she’s learning to walk and suddenly, Andrealynn wails. Physical – As I need to wake up at weird hours to cuddle and feed either one of them and through many intervals and at times, I need to hug/ carry and show physical affection to Sharanne to ensure her that she’s still has my attention. Psychological – If the other half is helping. Good for one. If not, one might just have depressing thoughts. So guys, always be there and help out your wives.
But on another side,
PRO – AGILITY SKILLS AND TIME MANAGEMENT = MULTI TASKING SKILLS
I get to improve on my agility skills in managing the two babies. Make it three if you consider the husband as one. And also time management made me learnt to multi task as sometimes their feeding schedules will clash and I need to feed 2 babies at 1 go if not I will get either one wailing or in worst case scenarios, 2 wailing babies. And the above two constitutes to me, being a multi tasker. I can just feed milk via bottle and coax the other one to sleep via cuddle. Trust me, this gets better when I had 3 girls.
I must say that it’s important to coach the elder one well. Because she will be the role model for her sister to follow. Afterall it’s a monkey see, monkey do kind of thing. Thus I begin to implant expectations on Sharanne and slowly she seems to be a “bossy” yet caring sister for Andrealynn and of course, Rayshirl in times to come.
1 of the PROs of having two kids is:
They won’t feel alone and there’s always a playmate. It will excel in their character development as they will understand the term: Sharing is Caring.
Best of all, when Andrealynn is 2 months old, I got the astonishing surprise… I AM PREGNANT, AGAIN, FOR THE THIRD TIME in the row. Even my Gynae was amazed with me and told me that for C-sect birth, I can only be cut up to 4 times. And the EDD was in Late June which meant it was too, roughly 11 months apart. Well, I didn’t expect it and it came as a surprise to everyone. A god’s gift always bring wonders and the best.
At that point in time, I was thinking, thank god that I had a stable job if not it will be financially taxing.
And being super seasoned with the whole process, the pregnancy and everything was a breeze. I always shared with Sharanne and Andrealynn that I am expecting another cutiepie in my tummy and getting them involved in a way of or another through the pregnancy process.
Fast forward, again >>> I had my third bundle of joy, Rayshirl through C-sect on 26 June 2012.
Rayshirl’s birth was a memorable one as I delayed my labour when Alex’s Grandma passed away on 17 June 2012. I pushed it from the initial 20th to 26th and thank god, Rayshirl is a good girl that she didn’t come out earlier.
The cutest part of Rayshirl’s birth was that before I packed up to the hospital for the delivery. Sharanne being the big sister remembered about the toy exchange which I conduct for her and Andrealynn. As I had no time to shop for any, she stuffed her favourite toy into my delivery bag and told me that it’s for the soon to be born sister and Andrealynn followed suit when she saw Sharanne doing it.
I was super touched by it because being at a young age, they can give up their toys to someone dear. And it brings me to understand that why can’t us, adults learn such simple lessons from the kids? The kids can walk the talk at this age… Why can’t we when as adults, we had greater understanding as per compared to them.
And thank god, Sharanne and Andrealynn were stunned to see Rayshirl for the first time and again, after a few rounds of interactions, they accepted each other’s presence.
PRO – Learning life lessons from the kids.
At times, certain things that they did, bring out the basic of life such as, happiness. The above shows me a lesson that being happy is not what you possess physically.
And having three kids, also meant that I am spoilt for choices and sharing will enables them to earn more choices. Such as, I can buy 3 different flavours of ice-creams and if they share the food, they will get to eat 3 different flavours instead of one. It also help in terms of balancing out the economy of scale. I guessed this will help a lot when I enrolled them for music lessons.
Another PRO would also be: There will be a mediator/ neutral stand in times of disagreement. Because when 2 kids fell out with one another, it would be the adult who will mediate between the two. But in this case, there will be one soft-hearted who will stand in to either apologize or to neutralize the tension.
However, the con might just be, financially taxing as you can now no longer buy one but need to buy three items instead. And having three it meant, split of attention. 2 kids are easily to manage as the husband and I just had to manage one respectively but now, with 3, it tends to be challenging especially when I’m bringing 3 of them out together but after awhile, I’m getting a hang of it. Oh yes, the placement child seats in the car is also a challenge. Three of them will take up the whole row of my back seat and I guess I need a MPV soon! And as parent, you need to learn to balance out the attention between the 3. Having one kid makes u focus ALL of your attention but having you… One needs to ensure that they get equal attention and minimize jealousy issues.
Another issue is that, I needs to get a bigger bag because having to pack for 3 will at times made me bring a weekend bag out. LOL. #findingexcusetoshopasalways
Things had always get better as they grew such as now as three of them can walk on their own, it’s not as physically exhaustive. On the positive note, I just need to “suffer” now but enjoy later. Talking about sufferings, another challenge is that, it’s like “end of world” when they fall sick together. It will be super duper… exhaustive in whatever ways. Burnt out is the word.
But the good thing about the young mum is that, I had energy to give the best in whatever ways and to play and run around with them. Hahaha I guess they had the hyper genes like me! 🙂
But I just want to say, be it whether you have one, two or three kids. Parenthood is a journey whereby it widen the horizons. I learnt a lot from the kids and it really opened up my mentality (to keep an open mind and accept changes and etc…) and knowing what love is, at the bigger picture. Despite whatever it is, it’s (Parenthood) not an easy journey and congrats to all, who picked this path.
And it’s not always that people are understanding towards your commitments. Friends might just walk out of your life when they don’t see your commitment to “go on a shopping trip with them” and etc… Although having kids might be seems as equivalent to having lesser time for other things/ people.
Trust me, surprises and daily life lessons will enrich one’s life fully and made one a stronger person (in every single terms such as mentality, physically and psychological) as it had enriched mine and shaped a better character development for myself thus I would like to say that having them are the best decisions I ever made thus far. 🙂
Having three young kids back home is definitely not an easy feat. With this post, I would like to thank everyone especially my mum, my grandma, my family, my extended family (in-law’s) in rendering their assistance to assist me in times of need. Also to my employer and colleagues who are understanding enough. Also to my soulmates (aka real friends) who understand my commitments. And thank you to my 3 girls who are considerably well behaved and especially to Sharanne who did her part as the Big Sister in looking after the younger ones.
And a pat on the shoulder of every parent. Cheers to Parenthood. 🙂
And to all parents, please take care of your health especially for mummies, for consecutive births, do not be stubborn and must take super extra good care as it’s tolling the body. LOL.
At 25+ years old, I’m proud to say, I am mother of three kids.
I just want to say thank you to the medical team over at Thomson Medical Centre and of course, my Gynaecologist, Dr Lawrence Ang, who’s currently located in Sembawang. 🙂
Update as of the Year 2019 – Maybe I should flip through my archives and repost those archives and do a refresh update on how to cope with 4 girls. LOL.
I guess it’s always a fine line in between everything. And best, overthink leads to depression.
As an over-comer (if there is ever such a word) of depression, I guessed when I became inactive at work, depression started to kick in. What a workaholic life — which brings me to the next point.
Why did I choose this path? 2017/ 2018 is a bad year of bad decision making.
Preggo and no one wants to hire and get stuck in a situation where I can’t seems to figure it out and stuck in the deep shit with all the relevant agencies.
Why did I choose to be preggo when I had already kind of restart my life – with the kids all grown up and ready – I need to restart my life in terms of fine tuning to the lifestyle. I need another 7 years to be ready as I need the youngest one to get into a Primary School.
Because of Pointer <1>, I speculate that I need to return to the workforce soon enough and again, I guess I will not have ample time to bond with my kid(s)/ recover from the post par tum and once again, my body will be screwed up due to all these. Correction – it’s already screwed up.
Pregnancy/ Motherhood seems to be enjoyable from others POV but all I feel that I am suffering – to take care of all the bills, fret over life and etc, all alone.
I need to tell myself, stop thinking for others because no one will think for you. And for the kids, I will pick $ over anything else.
This is my main motive in life and indeed harsh fact of life that I had to choose a career that $ is more important than my own passion. What a joke.
Why can I find someone dependable when I’m at my lowest.
Why is everyone after motive? Why can’t I find someone who shares the same mentality – sometimes it’s better than to give than to receive. No expectations, nothing.
Penning these down to remind myself in near future. Perseverance will get me somewhere one day.
Countdown to see my baby, wipe out my savings 也是值得 (f_ _k the bills) and the depression.
I always get people commenting on how well I handled the kids. To be frank, it really takes a lot of efforts to create this, what I called a “network” especially when the girls are all 11-months old apart.
The most difficult times that I need to struggle through is the times when they are 2, 1 and months old. I felt depressed as each of them had their own feeding schedules and worst still, when they got sick together. But thank god for my supermom who helped me took care of these three hyper bunnies while I went back to work.
Also, family support is a pre-requisite to have more kids (Government can only help to pave ways but not much.). For my case, I am lucky to have a strong support of siblings, in-laws, extended family who are always there to assist when required. This network paved the ways and also demonstrated to the girls since young of a strong family nucleus and bonds. Also, they learnt the art of sharing and superb articulation.
As they grew older, things get easier.
I used to carry an Alibaba bag which could be equivalent to an army field pack. All the diapers, extra clothings (and my clothings), milk bottles for each individuals are packed respectively into this Alibaba bag. However as the youngest one becomes diaper-free, I just need to “force” everyone to carry their own water bottles and ta-da off I go.
Going out with these 3 hyperbunnies used to take alot of skill but I managed to create a buddy system/ network so that these three will take each of one another. The elder one will always be tagged to the youngest one and the middle child gets to pick who she wants to be with.
Responsibility and Leadership Navigation Skills in the Eldest.
No Middle Child Syndrome for the Middle.
Learn how to respect and a role model to look up for the Youngest.
Looking out for one another and sharing is caring concept.
Communication skills and articulation.
Each of them will have one role when we are doing the activities/ sessions:
Eldest does the Logistics
Middle does the Planning
Youngest does the Execution
In terms of groceries shopping; Sharanne will pick up the trolley or basket. Andrealynn will command on what to purchase and Youngest does the pick up of the items. Sometimes, they switched the roles among themselves.
And indeed, time flies and they are now at 8, 7 and 6 years old. It just went in a blink of an eye for their childhood. And sadly, I was not with them during the majority of the childhood due to work but well, for the better of their future. ^^
Suddenly, came a small voice behind me that says, “Eh mama, ain’t violet, purple? It ain’t blue yo.”
That is my elder girl, Sharanne. Haha.
Sometimes parenting gives me another broader insights, that embrace love and makes one a greater person. Also, sometimes, kids say the darnest things. I listed two examples here:
Conversation about being a Chihuahua
Background: As a Chinese I believed in karma and reincarnations. And part of the religious teaching says that souls reborn as animals are due to past misdeeds (karma). And so, I bought Matcha (my Chihuahua) back to my in-law to pray at the house temple to usher into the new year.
Me: Matcha, come over here and sit still. Pray if you can as it gives you merits if you cultivate the habit of listening to the Buddha’s religious teaching, it will might make u a human again. You are a dog now due to your past misdeed.
Sharanne: Mama, no, Matcha might not be a dog because of the past misdeeds. She could be like you…
Sharanne: Yes, she might have wish to become a Chihuahua like you did*. And because she attain merits and was a good girl then, the Genie granted her wish.
*Previously, I was stressed up at work till I casually spoke about being a Chihuahua like Matcha in my next lifetime, free from worries and get pampered like a Princess, ha~
Bottom line: Kids take YOUR words for real. Speak wise.
Conversation about One’s Inspirations
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Sharanne: *Take deep breath* Dancer because I love dancing and I want to be real good in something I want to do.
Me: Ok, that’s good but still need to get a minimum education in order to survive yeah. *Sharanne nods and floats away from this dangerous topic.*
Andrealynn: I want to be a Doctor or Nurse, to help people and save lives.
Me: That’s good. I believe you can do it if you study hard and focus on your end goal.
Rayshirl: I want to be a Dog.
Me: Oh doc ah? That’s good.
Rayshirl: Nooooooo. Dog. A dog.
Me: Doc… Doctor? Good good.
Rayshirl: NO. I WANT TO BE A DOG. Woof woof dog.
Me: …………. You can’t be a dog.
Rayshirl: But Matcha is a dog.
Andrealynn: Mama, if Rayshirl is a dog. I want to be a cat when I grow up.
Me: …………………………………………. *silence entered the darkest night*
ONE WEEK LATER,
Rayshirl: Mama, I realized I don’t want to be a dog anymore.
Me: Good… so what’s your new goal?
Rayshirl: I want to be a boy.
Me: …………………………… *speechless*
JUST LAST WEEK,
Rayshirl: Mama, I don’t want to be a boy also. I changed my mind.
Me: *wonder why she is so fickle minded but still* Ohhhh okay, so you are back to a girl?
Rayshirl: No, I already know what I want to be.
Me: Ok… Now what?
Rayshirl: I want to be a Terrex.
Rayshirl: No, TER-REX. Ah yi (aka her aunt aka my sister) says TERREX very powerful.
Me: But it’s a machine.
Rayshirl: Not a type of Dinosaur meh?
Me: NO. *shows her a picture of Terrex*
Rayshirl: No. This is not Terrex. Ahgong (aka my father aka her grandpa) shows me this before and it’s called a Tanker or Tank.
I guess, I will miss the girls when I relocate for work.