Circuit Breaker, Healing, Heartbreaks, Life

2020, did not happen.

I wish.

It’s September 2020 and it seems like Year 2020 did not happen.

At least I would like this to be of a “milestone” instead of a “bottom neck”.

“Circuit Breaker” never exists in my dictionary, at least these two words were erased after I caught you during this period and days shy before I started my new role.

I did ask myself should I just forgo everything to rebuild the relationship.

In the end, I told myself that I did nothing wrong, why should I had to take on the blame then?

I had to pretend nothing happen and went on to live like a norm. At least, I wonder, is this the “new normal” to me?

It was 29 May 2020, I remembered.

Fast forward, I choose to forgive (and I can’t forget) and have to deal so many unnecessary stuff in my life out of a sudden – embracing your existence in my life. Sometimes I ask, did I forgive him or “I forgive myself”. I do not know.

Somehow or rather you decided that my confrontation ain’t harsh enough that you decide to take this inch closer. I ask myself – did I do the right thing by just talking to you nicely and even to the extend to forge a friendship.

Yet, some love all that attention and thrill, so be it. You can do anything but there is always a bottom line. My children is my bottom line yet you went beyond that. And I hope one day, you can look back at what you did.

To be honest, I’m tired of answering to people if I am fine. Because its obvious I am not.

Many things happened over the past few months and I had realised that nothing matters to me other than life and death moments.

And I just want to tell people out there who are nursing the heartbreak (s), you are not alone. I am here with you.

We shall not let ourselves down and put ourselves down. Live for the better, keep the chin up and we will create miracles and tons of success.

Afterall,

The people who mind, don’t matter and the people who matter, don’t mind

UPDATE (20 Sept)

So apparently, one decide to drop a comment and did not mask their IP address.

On another note, I did not blame you but the one who decided to harass my close kins and I can tell you I will never want/ love to put myself into this situation, FYI.

In this whole situation, I can only blame myself for all these. If only I have done better.

Remember, do not lose your cool and you can control your reactions to people.

Text me if you want to speak since you already have my number.

Circuit Breaker, Rants

Circuit Breaker Day 07 aka #cbday07

1 week down. Another 23 days to go.

Home-based learning getting smoother now. I’m getting used to the momentum and enjoying this life. I wonder how’s life gonna be after 4th May 2020?

Sometimes I wonder how will the marginalized one deal with this? The homeless where they’ve no-where to go, the single parents how do they cope? How did the teacher feel about teaching and handling their own kids at the same time?

Many thoughts came by during this period of time.

And something that I think we should embrace,  is being kind and kinder during this period.

Jiayou Singaporeans and Residing Residents~ we can do it.

 

Circuit Breaker, Rants

Circuit Breaker Day 06 aka #cbday06

12 April 2020 – BIANG. Day 06 nia leh.

Menu for today >>>

Bought this super nice tingkat and is selling this on Shopee.

Tingkat
Super duper nice looking tingkat.

Breakfast

  • Rosti + Beyond Meat

Dinner

  • Plain Rice
  • Boiled Broccoli
  • Corn in Roasted Sesame Sauce
  • Yong Tau Foo Soup

And snacking with my all-time favourite – Poppadoms. LOL

Poppadoms Snack
LOOK! Who photobombed me again?!

It’s gonna be a long week. God bless us! Gonna be a short post due to family matters. Brace on people.

Circuit Breaker, Rants

Circuit Breaker Day 05 aka #cbday05

11 April 2020 – Saturday.

Day 05. I decided to give myself a break today. Decide to declutter and learn something, a new language, ok maybe, brush up my bahasa melayu with the girls.

So we kind of Youtube-learn it. FOC ok although a few of my friends recommending Duolingo and all. I guess the rest of the next few weeks, I can see how it goes.

Did another stuff on the #CircuitBreaker Bucket List (which I will add to the sider soon) – Bake Banana Muffin LOL.

Matcha
Muffin Faceeee.

Somehow, the girls and the furkids are the happiest this month due to this #CircuitBreaker stuff. Not bad.

Today post will be a little tad short as I’m too shocked to say anything else due to a sudden news of a close kin’s passing (non COVID-19 case).

Till date, take care.

Circuit Breaker, Rants

Circuit Breaker Day 04 aka #cbday04

10 April 2020 – I felt that after these 28 days, I would have graduated as the Master Chef or maybe a Student Care Teacher. Things made easier when today’s a PH and there’s NO HBL sessions. *relief*

Menu of the Day: Steamed Mushroom & Fried Egg with Porridge.

Day 04 Lunch
The meimeis makaning lunch.

Soup for Lunch
Pre-prepared Ingredients for the Noodles Soup @ Night

Malaysia just announced their extension for the MCO till 28 April 2020 and seriously I hope Singapore will not follow the footsteps to extend this #CircuitBreaker thing. PM Lee had released another video on asking everyone to strongly follow the Circuit Breaker measures.

This includes that footfall should be controlled and all. Sometimes I wonder when will this ends and I begin to wonder;

What will happen to the homeless?

The underprivileged and all? To be honest, they are the ones who will suffer the most during this pandemic period. It’s in all passing phase. This sent me thinking hard on how I can finetune all these and make myself a better person.

Despite that I would need to be mentally strong to fight off what comes may especially toxic people. The first Easter that going online instead of offline gathering.

Bless everyone.

Circuit Breaker, Rants

Circuit Breaker Day 03 aka #CBDay03

09 April 2020. Day 03 of the #CircuitBreaker

The girls (except Rayshirl and Yahyah) woke up earlier to finish up their assignments. #RayshirlTheJoker decides to OTOT finish up her stuff because there is no Google Meets for her this week.

Enhanced measures are called in and everyone is staying home for Easter. Amen.

Cooked a Veggie Stew and Lemongrass x Pandan to detox. I absolutely love the stew-life because it last me through the whole day.

Menu of the Day: Vegetables Stew & Lemongrass x Pandan.

The day flew past with hustling with the kids and all.

Fake Tea Party
Fake Tea Party with the Girls

Rayshirl Makeup
Rayshirl does her makeup better than me.

Mom's Life
Mum’s Life

Snacking with Mummy
Snacking Peas before Bedtime. LOL Supper eh.

Anyway these few days opened up my sights a little, getting to know the learning style of the girls and many more to come. I never thought I would have this opportunity to stay home with them and be a SAHM. HAHA.

I guessed this COVID-19 made this chapter significant about the girls, about the break, about what I want in life. Many mentioned that couples would have more friction than anything else. This period made me realised what I need in future.

Sometimes, some stuff can’t be bought with money. 🙂

Circuit Breaker, Rants

Circuit Breaker Day 02 aka #CBDay02

THE CHALLENGE IS HERE ON 08 APRIL.

I woke up at 8.00am and prepared the girls for the HBL and guess what, there was a fair bit of cock-ups. Almost going insane and reminded me that it’s only Day 01 of HBL, and there would be more to go. In order to keep my sanity in check, decide to focus on mini-me and cooked brunch.

Menu of the Day: Marconi in “Fake Cabonara” soup with Instant Mushroom Soup & Cheesesticks. HAHA.

cbday0204
Snacking Time. O_O

Afternoon was a killer because the girls gave themselves a break way much earlier and they off school at “12pm” instead of the usual one. And this girl did not finish her work and went to make her chocolate milkshake. HELLO jiejie, at school can like that go canteen buy food as and when you like meh?

cbday0205
Side eye me when I want to snap a picture of evidence to complain to the whole. LOL

Bonding session begins with brunch and all. The girls decide to tell on to their teachers that they had to look after the babysister thus cannot be “online” while I worked. Legit reason but hello O_O.

And I had change one corner of the house to a chillax corner. HAHA, the girls will nap and etc. Example of the chillax that they can have their own screentime there.

Dinner was way much simpler with the “anyhow cook” theme.

Menu of the Day: Cooked a vegetable stew with bai cai, mocked prawns, watercress and tomato. Makan with rice.

Night time was a thought process that this reminded me it’s only Day 01 of HBL. Not sure if it’s a psychological effect but I’m still glad that I have these 28 days bonding with the kids. HAHAHA. Keeping sanity in check.

cbday0210
Decide to chiong her work before 2359 hours.


Okay – sleep, it, snack and repeat.

Amazingly, I had made big plans for these 28 days and just to share on a few things I want to achieve during this period;

  • UXUI for PB done
  • Settle my app development
  • Learn a new language as a family
  • Take my online coding class
  • Purchase my vehicle

And pushing my limits with everything else including social works such as Kampung North.

Circuit Breaker, Rants

Circuit Breaker Day 01 aka #CBDay01

Today, 07 April 2020 marks the World Health Day however with the pandemic situation in Singapore, it also marks the unprecedented move of #CircuitBreaker by the Government, enforcing near to 75% workforce to work from home for 28 days, keeping them away and avoid every single one from traveling around to minimize and curb the community spread (importantly, flatten the curve).

And 08 April 2020 will be the start of students’ home-based learning and I wasn’t ready for it. Hahaha, the thoughts of it scared me but at the same time, I think I would quite enjoy this 1 month, pushing my limits for work (regain my discipline) and spending time with the little ones. Honestly, COVID-19 puts me in place again from all the buzz and hustling. And I don’t think I would have the chance to wake up to such sights in near future.

And I would love to document this journey as part of my time capsule inputs in the near future when I look back in a decade’s time.

So while the girls are still in school, I decide to prepare the battlefield for the next 1 month.

D01_001
Shifted the sofa away and bring in the dinner table setting for the WFH & HBL sessions.

And also declutter the fridge and food cabinets by throwing the expired stuff away and “reformat” my cabinets as I stocked up in case some #CBkias decide to go out and the community spread went out of hands. *Praying that this day WILL NOT come but just in case.*

And I took the liberty to create a list on my “To-Do” on a daily basis. Hopefully, I keep this discipline.


D01_002
Cooked my brunch for #CBDay01

 

#CircuitBreaker Day 01 Menu @ Brunch + Dinner

  1. White Porridge
  2. Steamed Mushroom Egg
  3. Stir-fried Xiao Bai Cai & Cheese Hotdogs

Joke aside, I went to Sheng Shiong to stock up the weekly groceries, the fresh produce and the milks. Was telling R that it was just for these few days because Rayshirl can finish the 2 cartons of milk within 1 day. Went to pickup the Macbook  (to get ready for the HBL) and picked the girls up, that’s the moment I realised — slave life is for me. HAHA.

D01_003
My Little Boss snacking O_O

D01_004
Dinner time and the sight that I will be facing for the next 28 days.

Evening was a breeze and night time was insane as I need to deal with all the preparation for the HBL and my work. Pushing the limits till the max but thank god, for snacks!

I also managed to create a telegram group for the Northies where a compilation of shared resources will be updated to them. Community genes game strong.

Did a video with Sharanne on her thoughts about HBL and staying AWAY from school and not stepping out for 28 days. Will try to post it up soon. Meaningful to see from the girls’ POV towards the Government measures to curb this COVID-19.

Worked my asses all the way till 3am and hopefully Day 02 will gets better as the day went by.