Circuit Breaker, Healing, Heartbreaks, Life

2020, did not happen.

I wish.

It’s September 2020 and it seems like Year 2020 did not happen.

At least I would like this to be of a “milestone” instead of a “bottom neck”.

“Circuit Breaker” never exists in my dictionary, at least these two words were erased after I caught you during this period and days shy before I started my new role.

I did ask myself should I just forgo everything to rebuild the relationship.

In the end, I told myself that I did nothing wrong, why should I had to take on the blame then?

I had to pretend nothing happen and went on to live like a norm. At least, I wonder, is this the “new normal” to me?

It was 29 May 2020, I remembered.

Fast forward, I choose to forgive (and I can’t forget) and have to deal so many unnecessary stuff in my life out of a sudden – embracing your existence in my life. Sometimes I ask, did I forgive him or “I forgive myself”. I do not know.

Somehow or rather you decided that my confrontation ain’t harsh enough that you decide to take this inch closer. I ask myself – did I do the right thing by just talking to you nicely and even to the extend to forge a friendship.

Yet, some love all that attention and thrill, so be it. You can do anything but there is always a bottom line. My children is my bottom line yet you went beyond that. And I hope one day, you can look back at what you did.

To be honest, I’m tired of answering to people if I am fine. Because its obvious I am not.

Many things happened over the past few months and I had realised that nothing matters to me other than life and death moments.

And I just want to tell people out there who are nursing the heartbreak (s), you are not alone. I am here with you.

We shall not let ourselves down and put ourselves down. Live for the better, keep the chin up and we will create miracles and tons of success.

Afterall,

The people who mind, don’t matter and the people who matter, don’t mind

UPDATE (20 Sept)

So apparently, one decide to drop a comment and did not mask their IP address.

On another note, I did not blame you but the one who decided to harass my close kins and I can tell you I will never want/ love to put myself into this situation, FYI.

In this whole situation, I can only blame myself for all these. If only I have done better.

Remember, do not lose your cool and you can control your reactions to people.

Text me if you want to speak since you already have my number.

1 thought on “2020, did not happen.”

  1. Choice to stay was made. 加油
    Don’t think there is a right or wrong, but a try is perhaps better than not trying with future regret.
    The uncertainty of purpose will always flood in occasionally.
    The only way forward of cos is to take risk to love him again.
    But raw indeed is your wound, self care first.
    May God bless and keep you.

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