2 months passed and sometimes I do not know if I had indeed forgave or… I guessed time will heal and my reactions to it will get smaller and smaller towards it.
The constant flashback still remains vivid in my memory. At times I wonder, when will this ends. I genuinely hope that every female in this world would have the heart not to break any relationship/ family especially when kids are involved. No, wait, perhaps everyone should learnt that they should never cheat.
My buds, A and Big A told me that I should just moved on from all these nonsense afterall, if I can forgive for such audacious mistake, in near future, the limit bar would had been raised.
Feeling lost, confused and etc should not be a good reason to cheat. THERE SHOULD BE NO REASONS NO EXCUSES TO CHEAT (duh!).
Anyway I read, if one cheat and he returned to the 1st relationship, it could only meant, there were some fears that one chose not to be open about it.
Because of this, I am bias to a certain degree towards the co, towards a certain race, a certain type and a certain group of peeps. Good gracious, may time healed my bias.
I too, asked myself, what’s the basis of forgiveness and why did I choose to accept? There were too much irony in my actions too.
Went for a celebration on 9 August (it was supposed to be the anni) but there is a part of me knew that the date do not make sense to me anymore. Nothing made sense. There is no longer trust in me although I had to use extreme methods to make myself feel better.
Such hurt, such fear.