Life, ongsisters, Parenthood, Rants, Reflections

Mental Health for Kids

Sidenote: Opinions are my own.

I chanced upon the two articles during the week and was discussing this prior to a quick Children’s’ Day celebration with the girls earlier.

The first article is about two 11-years old who had gone missing on 30 September 2019 and was found emotionally unharmed after a grueling 30-hours+ at where they are last seen.

The second article is about a mum who had complained to the Minister for Education on the purpose of setting tough PSLE questions.

And some, even went to the extent to commit suicide over bad grades and critics.

The conversation with the girls especially Sharanne set me thinking about the expectations from (1) Parents, (2) Childrens/ Peer Pressure and lastly (3) the Society.

From Kids’ perspective, they only see as Exams, Stress, Breakdown.

On a legit note, the girls always shared with me that the majority of their friends had super packed schedule for the week and near to 90% are focusing on academics, some took up the music schedules as parents assume that it was a form of de-stress and based on the instrument that the parents like instead of what the kids love. And the reason?

They are too young to make decision so as Parent we have the responsibility to plan out for them.

Precisely. And that’s also the point that they are young that they might not be capable enough to handle the stress and negative emotions.

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What we see from the external is different from what’s within.

So it set me thinking, what went wrong and what could we (as Parents) have done better?

I have friends who are on #TeamTuitionIsLife where Tuition plays a major big role in their lives and its everything they that do. The removal of tuition will make them “handicap” and unable to move on positively. Kids of #TeamTuitionIsLife normally have no much choices on their own and would need to obey the lesson plans crafted out by their parents, for their own good. Sounds familiar? Out of 10 friends, 8 of them fall into this category.

The remaining minority belongs to the #ChillMom where everything is possible and I belong to this category. Not even a single class of tuition/ enrichment and every weekend is just time spent with the kids.

I personally think that sometimes some kids will need enrichment to facilitate and motivate learning but don’t overdo it. Find a right balance. Keep the signs in check. Mentality is important for parents. Don’t yell and threaten on bad grades. It ain’t everything.

Kids felt more stress when parents compare as the (2) Peer Pressure is real. And just to be honest that kids are more sheltered as per compare to the kids 20-30 years ago. The latte developed grit to deal with things while kids of today need some parental grips, making them more vulnerable to critics.

I guess I focus on the different aspects – Soft Skills where I call it the EQ instead of IQ (Academics). The girls had been taught, social media skills, entrepreneurship, customer relations, product different and etc… Importantly I feel that parents need to teach kids how to manage failure or in nicer words, I call it, managing the not ideal situation. That’s why I curated Little Towkay Entrepreneurs Bootcamp for the kids, in order to give them a more holistic experience.

Acceptance is important. I do not have the greatest mind and will never do well in Maths in this lifetime. What I can do is to accept this weakness and hunt for my strengths. I can’t possibly force myself to be a Mathematician. Grades are not everything.

That’s why if I believed my kids can do well in Arts. The focus and the shift will be towards the SOTA direction. Afterall, who’s gonna teach the future generations the arty farty stuff if EVERYONE focus on the academics? Who’s going to teach ballet when everyone graduated as a lawyer or doctor? 😉

There’s always a Master in every profession, tio bo?

Afterall, I would rather spend the time and money spent on something that they love, so that Iwould get a positive ROI. Otherwise I’ll be waste my time and money on something that they do not even like/ love a teeny tiny bit and worst, do not learn from or make no change to one’s life.

Having 4 kiddos and to balance on that economy of scale is hard. Need to maximize the assets so I would emphasize on:

  1. Getting them to learn something that they love.

  2. Tell them Academics is not everything. Attitude is.

  3. Accepting failures (and not scoring more than 85/ 100 is ok)

  4. Enjoy their childhood. 🙂

Personally, this is what I would do and remind myself to do better than to surrender and join the #TeamTuitionIsLife.

No doubts, Society play a part too. We need more parents like this to overturn the mentality that focus strongly on grades and adapt more towards character development.

To parents out there, don’t let anything or anyone guilt trip you. The most important thing that you can provide to the kids is your time and love. 😊

Parents gonna walk the talk before a change is well-noted within the education system and system takes time.

Hey mama! 🙂

Hit me up if you are keen in the Children Bootcamp.

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