Found this back in my archives in the Year 2014. Please note, this was written in the Year 2014 when I am just 25 years old!
From a point of view of a young (working) mum.
Please note that this would be a lengthy post. 🙂
And this is my story…
I was pregnant with my elder girl, Sharanne when I am still doing my part-time degree over at Kaplan Singapore. I guessed I did brave through 2 semesters with her in my tummy and the best part, my last paper was just a week before my expected delivery date (August 2010). So I had her through an emergency c-section on 19 August 2010 when I am just 21 years old.
Everything from pregnancy was a trauma for me as I didn’t know what to do being a new mum and everything was like, wow, new to me. I need to get to know and pick up new things such as lingoes and terms like to latch on, burping postures and etc… Although it was “scary” in a way, I am thankful to have my mum, my extended family (in-laws) and experienced mummy friends who guided me through the days.
I remember the instance when I had to discharge from the hospital without Sharanne as she had serious jaundice issue. That moment, I teared like nobody because I am so scared to lose her and I didn’t know what the hell the Doctor is trying to tell me. But well, everything went on fine until…
At that point in time, I was still breast feeding Sharanne and my period didn’t come at all which both my Gynae and my friends told me that it’s quite normal. I didn’t pay attention to it so I live my life as per normal. My days are just like spending with Sharanne and looking out for jobs (as I had finally graduated). I was offered a position at a statutory board after a few months of hardwork but I told them, I can only start work in January 2011 as I want to spend more time with Sharanne.
I took a short celebratory trip in late 2010 to Taiwan – to celebrate my birthday, my graduation, my new role in life as a mum, my new found job. However, I felt nauseous and super unwell throughout the whole trip. Somehow or rather my instinct told me… I “might” be pregnant. And I bought a pregnancy test kit when I am during my last few days back in Taiwan. Guess what, I AM PREGNANT, AGAIN.
When I returned to Singapore, I quickly made an appointment with my Gynae. He confirmed on my pregnancy and checked that the EDD was in Early July. In other words, I am pregnant with my 2nd one… when Sharanne is roughly two months old. My Gynae told me that it’s ok and due to my age, the womb recovered quite fast and thus I am able to get pregnant within a short span.
At that point in time, I wasn’t sure if I can cope with 2 kids of such a close age gap and I heard a lot from my friends that Sharanne might not understand and might just throw a tantrum by seeking MORE attention which literally freaks me out but well, I LOVE KIDS! 🙂 And also, I was shattered because I just secured a job and now, who will employed someone who is soon to be going on maternity leave.
But to my astonishment, my potential employer still accept me despite my pregnancy as I think it’s fair for me to voice it out to them. Till date, I am really thankful for their kindness as it’s not easy to find such a good employer to start with.
Random Inserts: As I go along, I will list down various Pro(s) & Con(s). For easy references, I will highlight the Pros and Cons.
Well well, for as a start, the Pro that I have is (it works be it whether I have 2 or 3 kids):
PRO – Things can be passed down:
I was so happy when my Gynae told me that I’m expecting a girl. Because when I’m pregnant with Sharanne, I bought a lot of clothes and I didn’t know that babies outgrown the clothes, THIS fast. So I was thinking that Baby No. 2 can just hop on to whatever I bought for Sharanne as majority of the clothes were brand new and unworn. (Sharanne is a fat baby. LOL)
Another PRO would be:
I know what I will be going through.
I would stare blankly when I hear the various lingoes. I know what to expect and won’t be as fearful as per compared to my first pregnancy. I know what to expect and what’s the rough outcome…
Difficulties in Handling No 1.
As Sharanne is still a baby and by the time I was 6 month pregnancy with Andrealynn (the name of Baby No 2) when the tummy shown, I had a hard time in bathing Sharanne and carry her. I will get tired easily and hardly had the breath to play with Sharanne especially when I had started my full time job when I am just 3 months pregnant. My life then > Job, Sharanne, Visit Gynae, Rest.
Fast forward >>> I gave birth via C-sect on 8th July 2011 to Andrealynn.
That was the best moment of my life as its my first witnessing the birth of my child. Sharanne was an emergency so I had to go through full body anesthesia. But Andrealynn’s was a half body anesthesia. 🙂
I had the first tears of joy. And life is definitely beautiful with the kids.
As Sharanne was nearing a year old then. She was totally at lost with the new addition. And after a few rounds of interaction, I could say… they will the best playmates in life, forever.
My friend told me do buy a toy each representing each of them and do an exchange, like an acceptance of one another and they will be the best friends of life. I did and not sure if it did attribute to the fact of acceptance.
Well well, having 2 kids of an young age is an issue when especially Sharanne is still taking her baby steps and learning to walk.
CON – Exhaustive in terms of Mental, Physical and Psychological.
Mental – As I need to keep an eye on one another and at times I need to break Sharanne’s fall when she’s learning to walk and suddenly, Andrealynn wails. Physical – As I need to wake up at weird hours to cuddle and feed either one of them and through many intervals and at times, I need to hug/ carry and show physical affection to Sharanne to ensure her that she’s still has my attention. Psychological – If the other half is helping. Good for one. If not, one might just have depressing thoughts. So guys, always be there and help out your wives.
But on another side,
PRO – AGILITY SKILLS AND TIME MANAGEMENT = MULTI TASKING SKILLS
I get to improve on my agility skills in managing the two babies. Make it three if you consider the husband as one. And also time management made me learnt to multi task as sometimes their feeding schedules will clash and I need to feed 2 babies at 1 go if not I will get either one wailing or in worst case scenarios, 2 wailing babies. And the above two constitutes to me, being a multi tasker. I can just feed milk via bottle and coax the other one to sleep via cuddle. Trust me, this gets better when I had 3 girls.
I must say that it’s important to coach the elder one well. Because she will be the role model for her sister to follow. Afterall it’s a monkey see, monkey do kind of thing. Thus I begin to implant expectations on Sharanne and slowly she seems to be a “bossy” yet caring sister for Andrealynn and of course, Rayshirl in times to come.
1 of the PROs of having two kids is:
They won’t feel alone and there’s always a playmate. It will excel in their character development as they will understand the term: Sharing is Caring.
Best of all, when Andrealynn is 2 months old, I got the astonishing surprise… I AM PREGNANT, AGAIN, FOR THE THIRD TIME in the row. Even my Gynae was amazed with me and told me that for C-sect birth, I can only be cut up to 4 times. And the EDD was in Late June which meant it was too, roughly 11 months apart. Well, I didn’t expect it and it came as a surprise to everyone. A god’s gift always bring wonders and the best.
At that point in time, I was thinking, thank god that I had a stable job if not it will be financially taxing.
And being super seasoned with the whole process, the pregnancy and everything was a breeze. I always shared with Sharanne and Andrealynn that I am expecting another cutiepie in my tummy and getting them involved in a way of or another through the pregnancy process.
Fast forward, again >>> I had my third bundle of joy, Rayshirl through C-sect on 26 June 2012.
Rayshirl’s birth was a memorable one as I delayed my labour when Alex’s Grandma passed away on 17 June 2012. I pushed it from the initial 20th to 26th and thank god, Rayshirl is a good girl that she didn’t come out earlier.
The cutest part of Rayshirl’s birth was that before I packed up to the hospital for the delivery. Sharanne being the big sister remembered about the toy exchange which I conduct for her and Andrealynn. As I had no time to shop for any, she stuffed her favourite toy into my delivery bag and told me that it’s for the soon to be born sister and Andrealynn followed suit when she saw Sharanne doing it.
I was super touched by it because being at a young age, they can give up their toys to someone dear. And it brings me to understand that why can’t us, adults learn such simple lessons from the kids? The kids can walk the talk at this age… Why can’t we when as adults, we had greater understanding as per compared to them.
And thank god, Sharanne and Andrealynn were stunned to see Rayshirl for the first time and again, after a few rounds of interactions, they accepted each other’s presence.
PRO – Learning life lessons from the kids.
At times, certain things that they did, bring out the basic of life such as, happiness. The above shows me a lesson that being happy is not what you possess physically.
And having three kids, also meant that I am spoilt for choices and sharing will enables them to earn more choices. Such as, I can buy 3 different flavours of ice-creams and if they share the food, they will get to eat 3 different flavours instead of one. It also help in terms of balancing out the economy of scale. I guessed this will help a lot when I enrolled them for music lessons.
Another PRO would also be: There will be a mediator/ neutral stand in times of disagreement. Because when 2 kids fell out with one another, it would be the adult who will mediate between the two. But in this case, there will be one soft-hearted who will stand in to either apologize or to neutralize the tension.
However, the con might just be, financially taxing as you can now no longer buy one but need to buy three items instead. And having three it meant, split of attention. 2 kids are easily to manage as the husband and I just had to manage one respectively but now, with 3, it tends to be challenging especially when I’m bringing 3 of them out together but after awhile, I’m getting a hang of it. Oh yes, the placement child seats in the car is also a challenge. Three of them will take up the whole row of my back seat and I guess I need a MPV soon! And as parent, you need to learn to balance out the attention between the 3. Having one kid makes u focus ALL of your attention but having you… One needs to ensure that they get equal attention and minimize jealousy issues.
Another issue is that, I needs to get a bigger bag because having to pack for 3 will at times made me bring a weekend bag out. LOL. #findingexcusetoshopasalways
Things had always get better as they grew such as now as three of them can walk on their own, it’s not as physically exhaustive. On the positive note, I just need to “suffer” now but enjoy later. Talking about sufferings, another challenge is that, it’s like “end of world” when they fall sick together. It will be super duper… exhaustive in whatever ways. Burnt out is the word.
But the good thing about the young mum is that, I had energy to give the best in whatever ways and to play and run around with them. Hahaha I guess they had the hyper genes like me! 🙂
But I just want to say, be it whether you have one, two or three kids. Parenthood is a journey whereby it widen the horizons. I learnt a lot from the kids and it really opened up my mentality (to keep an open mind and accept changes and etc…) and knowing what love is, at the bigger picture. Despite whatever it is, it’s (Parenthood) not an easy journey and congrats to all, who picked this path.
And it’s not always that people are understanding towards your commitments. Friends might just walk out of your life when they don’t see your commitment to “go on a shopping trip with them” and etc… Although having kids might be seems as equivalent to having lesser time for other things/ people.
Trust me, surprises and daily life lessons will enrich one’s life fully and made one a stronger person (in every single terms such as mentality, physically and psychological) as it had enriched mine and shaped a better character development for myself thus I would like to say that having them are the best decisions I ever made thus far. 🙂
Having three young kids back home is definitely not an easy feat. With this post, I would like to thank everyone especially my mum, my grandma, my family, my extended family (in-law’s) in rendering their assistance to assist me in times of need. Also to my employer and colleagues who are understanding enough. Also to my soulmates (aka real friends) who understand my commitments. And thank you to my 3 girls who are considerably well behaved and especially to Sharanne who did her part as the Big Sister in looking after the younger ones.
And a pat on the shoulder of every parent. Cheers to Parenthood. 🙂
And to all parents, please take care of your health especially for mummies, for consecutive births, do not be stubborn and must take super extra good care as it’s tolling the body. LOL.
At 25+ years old, I’m proud to say, I am mother of three kids.
I just want to say thank you to the medical team over at Thomson Medical Centre and of course, my Gynaecologist, Dr Lawrence Ang, who’s currently located in Sembawang. 🙂
Update as of the Year 2019 – Maybe I should flip through my archives and repost those archives and do a refresh update on how to cope with 4 girls. LOL.